Scenes about school elementary school. Humorous scenes for elementary school children. Scene "Analysis of compositions"
L. Mishchenkova
"I am late..."
Anton is a late student.
A student who is late for a lesson rushes into the classroom.
Anton. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. We understood this. Explain why. What happened?
Anton... Oh, what has not happened! .. I'll start in order. When I hear the sound of the alarm, I feel like I'm being shot.
Teacher. And you jump up right away?
Anton. No, I'm lying like a dead man! Therefore, Kesha, my parrot, wakes me up. At exactly 7.30 am he says: “ Good morning! It's time to get up. " But yesterday it was Kesha's birthday, and I treated him to ice cream. And in the morning Kesha did not wake me up - he lost his voice, poor fellow ...
Teacher... I ate too much ice cream, you say. Interesting...
Anton. Well, that means ... I left the house ... And then an armed bandit attacked me!
Teacher... Horror! And what did he do?
Anton... Took away homework!
Anton... Then I decided to help the old woman cross the street. And as soon as I brought it to the middle, the traffic light broke! A red light came on, and the cars drove without stopping. So we sunbathed in the middle of the street until the traffic controller appeared.
Teacher... That's the story ... Tell me, Anton, is there even a word of truth in your story?
Anton... As many as two: I'm LATE.
"During break"
Characters
Classmates:
The bell rings from the lesson. Children sit on chairs along the edge of the stage: some with a book in their hands, some with games, start a conversation with each other.
Vitalik... All people are like people: at recess they rush along the corridor, and we, like crazy, sit in the classroom.
Masha. So we punished ourselves: we behaved badly, now we sit in class for a whole week.
Someone sneezes.
Dasha... What will we have now?
Andrey... Maths.
Lesha. I love mathematics ... (Turns to Sergei) And what is your favorite subject?
Sergey... And my favorite subject is TV!
Anton. And mine is a tape recorder!
Yura. And mine is a computer!
Natasha. Do you have a computer at home?
Yura... There is.
Natasha... You probably want to become a programmer?
Yura... No, a doctor.
Natasha... Ha, you have a "three" in the "World Around"!
Masha. So what, Natasha, he will fix her! What kind of doctor is a surgeon?
Yura... No, dental: people have one heart, and teeth - 32!
Someone sneezes.
Masha... Do you remember, Katya, how Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks Yura in the lesson: "Why do storks fly to Africa for the winter?"
Kate. I remember, I remember ... What did you say then, Yura?
Yura... Obviously, blacks also want to have children!
Sergey... Vitalik, did you get sick yesterday from your parents because you left home from the rhythm lesson?
Vitalik... Yes, not that horrible, but the relationship soured. Imagine, in the morning I hint to my father: "Dad, I saw in a dream that you bought me three servings of ice cream." Usually he understands hints, and then he says: "Great, you can keep them for yourself!"
Anton... Well, that's nothing. But my dad once gave me two slaps on the head.
Nastya... For what?
Anton... First time because I showed the diary with "deuces". And the second - when he saw that it was his old diary!
Nastya... Well, why did you show? Himself to blame. You need to be careful with your parents. They forgot that they themselves were once children.
Kate. What time is it, Lesh?
Lesha. 10.20.
Kate... This means we have another 10 minutes to sunbathe before the start of the lesson.
Dasha... Lyudmila Vladimirovna said there won't be an extension today ...
Sergey... Badly. I don't like doing homework with my grandmother. Lyudmila Vladimirovna immediately recognizes her handwriting.
Zhenya. I once did my homework at home. And when I handed over the notebook, Lyudmila Vladimirovna grabbed her head: "It's just incredible that one person can make so many mistakes!" And I say: “Why alone? Together with dad! "
Someone sneezes.
Anton... I, too, once did not go to an extended program. So Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks: "Admit it, Anton, who did your homework for you?"
And I answer: “I don’t know, I went to bed early yesterday.”
Masha... What I like most about the extended course is drinking tea.
Andrey. Yes, great!
Masha... And my mother gave me a silver spoon and said: “Take it to class. If you drink tea, put a spoon in a cup. All microbes perish from it, from silver. "
And I say: "Mom, do you want me to drink tea with dead germs?"
Sergey. And somehow I shout: “Lyudmila Vladimirovna! My tea is unsweetened. " And she: "Did you stir the sugar?" - "Stirred". - "Which way?" - "Right". - "So the sugar is gone to the left!"
Anton sneezes, wipes his mouth with his sleeve.
Natasha... Anton, do you happen to have a handkerchief?
Anton... Yes, but I'm sorry, Natasha, I don't lend it to anyone.
Masha. Listen, Lesh, I want to ask you everything. When I walk past your windows, sometimes I hear your cat screaming in an almost human voice ...
Lesha... I wash her.
Masha... I also wash my cat, but she doesn't scream like that.
Lesha... Are you squeezing it out?
Masha... Well, you are a flayer, Lesha!
Lesha... You yourself are a flayer! But my cat has no fleas. And you, Masha, do not forget to tell your mother that Lyudmila Vladimirovna is calling her to school!
Masha. And I already said, Lesha! “Mom,” I say, “we have an abbreviated parent meeting today.” And she asks: "How is it - abbreviated?" And I answer: "It's very simple: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, you, me and the director."
L. TOamin
Scene "Our Cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher(dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Perfectly! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine in which cases these nouns stand. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: So the top five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional!
Teacher: In the prepositional? Why is that?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
AND. Butman
"Correct answer"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, it shouldn't be a plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer for you in my diary!
Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I just don't know what to put in the list.
Petrov(looking gloomily at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our math was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanitch! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: Like this?
Petrov: But, look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: Move out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanitch. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 is also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanitch, exactly.
Teacher: Move out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanitch?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Let us suppose.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
AND. WITHemerenko
"Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I have not even begun to tell.
Andrey(laughing): Folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it is clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it's great you came up with it - it's funny and with a riddle!
Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
"At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: class teacher and students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Apprentice Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Simakov's student: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Apprentice Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "Frog traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Pupil Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Pupil Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: Truth.
Pupil Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it completely depends on the cat.
Teacher: Will go to the board ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov(coming out to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you say! Is it possible?
Pupil Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Pupil Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Pupil Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried that the call would interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try it, Belkov.
Apprentice Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Klyushkin.
Pupil Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
"In math lessons"
Characters: class teacher and students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Apprentice Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads for the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Apprentice Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Apprentice Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you do not know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how much is three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Apprentice Ivanov: And mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Pupil Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Apprentice Ivanov(reaches out and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, put me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Apprentice Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: And because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: Do not know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Pupil Klevtsov: Granddad? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandpa. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is "egg", Sinichkin?
Pupil Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why is that?
Pupil Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the kind of words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, and "stocking" is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the proposal.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Pupil Smirnov: Dad is the subject, left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkin's student: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Pupil Sobakin: My mom works in a KNITTING factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, come out to the blackboard, write down a proposal.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inconsiderate?
Apprentice Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where have you seen the bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Pupil Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Pupil Petushkov: Cat dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Pupil Petushkov: Well, how is it? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
A dynamic, modern, and most importantly, a funny New Year's scene. The beginning is this: Santa Claus reads the letters of children and is finally disappointed in them.
A script for a New Year's party for younger students. Jack Sparrow, young hacker, Santa Claus and Snow Maiden in one scenario. We guarantee humor!
Dialogue scenes for two presenters New Year's Eve... They will help out your concert, connect even the most motley numbers with each other. Light, funny, New Year's jokes.
On New Year's holidays, anything can happen. The scene is about this: the artistic director arranges a scolding to the artists who performed at the children's New Year's parties... A scene in the spirit of Comedy club with a fair amount of childish humor.
The new most relevant scenario for the children's New Year's holiday. Recognizable modern characters: Cashier "Pyaterochka", Ded Moroz, Snegurochka, Baba Yaga, and the symbol of the new 2019 - Pig.
The classic battle of the Old and New Years has been moved to the walls of an ordinary office. The stage is suitable for a corporate New Year's party. If your department was asked to stage a scene - take it and do not suffer.
The plot of the scene is as follows: astrologers-predictors compete in predictions of the new year for office workers. As you understand, all your intra-office joys and relevance can be woven into the scene. Success on New Year's corporate party provided!
Let's fast forward about three hundred years ago and imagine how in Russia they switched to celebrating the New Year in winter. Let's do it in the form funny scene... If you rent theatrical costumes, the scene will be simply bombastic.
An up-to-date New Year's scene on a school theme. About how hard it is for schoolchildren and teachers on the eve of the New Year. Suitable for school or student KVN on the New Year theme.
The plot of the scene is as follows: somewhere in the north there is a secret base for the preparation of Santa Claus. And how can they be without preparation ?! You can show such a scene both on KVN and on New Year's concert.
A humorous scene about typical mistakes when celebrating the New Year. Everyone recognizes himself and more than once! Such a scene, for example, can be played by the presenters of the New Year's events, while the equilibrist is preparing for the release with Christmas balls.
Another scene for a New Year's corporate party. The plot of the scene is as follows: Few people know that Santa Claus has his own office, reception and secretary. Let's say right away: everything will be within the bounds of decency, no vulgar fantasies.
New Year's fantasy: how the President of Russia and his aide come up with a reform new year holidays... As you already understood: the scene is not for children and not even for a school audience. So what, New Year and adults celebrate
A humorous scene for a school performance on the eve of New Year's holidays. Fits easily into the script of any New Year's concert. There are four participants. From the props: one Santa Claus costume.
The organizers of the events will not let you lie: there are never too many scenes at a New Year's concert. Here's another one. The plot is this: a blonde girl comes to recruiting agency get a job as a Snow Maiden.
A patriotic New Year's scene in the spirit of the times. Our Santa Claus tells Santa Claus about our New Year. The jokes are clear, recognizable, and cause an instant response from the audience. The stage is set easily, the costumes are usually always available for it.
18+
The stage is exclusively for adults. Two men meet some January and brag to each other about how they celebrated the New Year. The miniature is suitable for performances in a club, on a closed new year party without children.
Scenes about school, study
By the name of the scene, it is already clear that it is the most school one. The plot is as follows: the headmaster convenes a meeting to prepare educational institution to the arrival of a strict check.
It is always interesting to imagine how children will be taught this way in forty, fifty years. And if you add humor to these dreams, you get a good scene for a school concert.
We tried to imagine how officials come up with new topics for graduation essays. This scene will organically look in a concert on the occasion last call or graduation from school. It can be played by both teachers and students.
Imagine that the famous TV presenter Andrei Malakhov gave up his TV shows and began to work as a literature teacher. In the scene, we tried to show what his lesson would look like.
Imagine that because of the crisis, a summit of leaders of all countries of the world was decided to be held in one of the children's health camps. The scene is also good because it is massive, but everyone does not need to learn words.
Holiday Scenes
Scene for Valentine's Day. Two cupids with a bow and arrow come out to do their work. An unusual scene where the participants need to go down to the auditorium.
The plot is as follows: girls decide what to give their boyfriends on February 23rd. Only ladies are involved in the scene. Finally, a legitimate reason to expel the men into the auditorium and heartily enjoy the scene.
For high school students, many topics and problems of modern children can be sanctified. These are the upcoming exams, graduation, leisure activities and choices future profession... There is also a wide field for imagination - the relationship between schoolchildren and parents. We offer funny scenes about a school for high school students, which are suitable for any holidays. They will add variety and will certainly amuse the audience!
"Boxing"
For high school students, they can be very diverse and unusual. For example, the following.
Literature lesson. Children are reading a book. The teacher is studying the magazine, and the two guys are bored.
First student: You took my pen, like a lady. (Pushes him)
Second student: What a pity for those, zhadoba. On! (Throws the pen at his collar).
First student: (Brings his fist to his face) Well, that's it, those guys have come.
Second student: These are those poor kirdyk! (Gives a blow to the body. A scuffle begins in the form of pushes with his fists and remarks "What are you doing ?!", "What are you doing?")
The teacher suddenly comes up: "Boxing, boxing, boxing ..."
There is a pause in the class and momentary silence.
"Growing up"
Looking for original, funny skits for high school students and their parents? We offer interesting scenario, which does not require much preparation.
Participants: announcer, mother, girl.
Announcer: Happy moment, happy hour. The daughter went to the first grade.
Mom and daughter come on stage.
Mom: Daughter, did you like school, are there many A's?
Daughter: (Enthusiastically) Teacher, like a fairy, everyone is friends with me, I got 3 A's!
Announcer: The fifth year has passed, and now the fifth-grader is walking.
Mom and daughter are dressed up at every exit.
Mom: Well, daughter, how are you? Did they ask you a lot about what was there at school?
Daughter: (Sadly) Petrov is a goat, again he pulled my braid. Today I gave it to his eye. For some reason they called you to the director ...
Announcer: And here again the years fly by, and the eighth-grader is a child.
Daughter in a short skirt, with punk fleece.
Mom: My dear daughter, how is the director waiting for me again?
Daughter: (Angrily) Everything is solid, and all reptiles. Petrova set fire again, the commission called you.
Announcer: Ten years have passed and now, the tenth grader is walking.
The daughter is heavily made up, in defiant clothes. Mom sits in a headscarf, sulking.
Mom: Hello dear, how are you? Have you been to school today?
Daughter: What a school, there are things, it's high time with Petrov in the registry office ...
"Who took Ishmael?"
If you need small school scenes funny for high school students, you can use the following idea.
Participants: high school students, teacher, director.
On the stage, you can put 2 desks, a chair for the teacher.
The teacher enters the classroom, greets.
Teacher: We repeat our homework. So, Sidorov!
Sidorov: Why, I’m right away, I can’t do it!
Teacher: Sidorov, tell me, who took Ishmael?
Sidorov: Mary Ivanovna, I didn’t take anything, I didn’t take my word of honor, it’s all Ivanov.
Ivanov: What Ishmael, I haven't seen anything, it's not me!
Teacher: (Angrily) Everything, mine. I'm calling the director.
Leaves and brings the director.
Teacher: This is the third lesson we cannot find out who took Ishmael?
Director: Is it 10-B? No, these will not return!
"Five for sincerity"
Another version of the script from the series "funny scenes about a school for high school students."
High school students have an exam in mathematics. A commission sits at the back of the desk, the teacher is in his place.
Teacher: Petrov, I can see everything, put the cheat sheet on the table!
The student hands over the cheat sheet. Sits down, but turns.
Teacher: Petrov, don't bother others.
Petrov: (gets up) Dear Marya Ivanovna, I have been teaching your mathematics for ten years, but I still don’t understand anything. I can sit here for five days, but I won't decide anything. Help the poor child. (Classroom chuckles)
Teacher: Petrov, another such trick and I will kick you out, come to retake.
The student sits down, turns again, looks at the paper, trying to decide, and again jumps up.
Petrov: you know that now I suddenly won’t get wiser and I won’t decide anything!
Giggles in the classroom, members of the commission also chuckle.
Marya Ivanovna: (with sympathy) Dear Vasya, if you think well, you will succeed. Sit down and don't bother others.
Petrov sits down and a minute later jumps up again: Marya Ivanovna, I'm not getting it right! (Laughter in class)
A member of the commission gets up and sits down next to Petrov: Well, let's see what you can't do there!
"Disco Star"
The scenes are funny for high school students, short and musical, which will diversify any concert.
Participants: high school students, two girlfriends.
Moving music sounds, but the students dance slowly and modestly. A cheerful guy runs in and starts dancing actively, not falling into the beat of the music: jumping, parodying a break, etc. Everyone expresses surprise, shaking their heads and twirling at their temples. After a short pause, the music is slightly reduced.
First high school student: (to a friend's ear, but loud to the audience) Wow, well, it's dark, do you know him?
Second: Yes, this is Sidorov from our 10-B.
First: What's with him? Does he always act like this?
Second: No, what are you, he is a modest guy, only today he got an A in Russian for the first time in 10 years!
"Gift of Santa Claus"
What to play New Year's scenes for high school students? Funny or classic, for schoolchildren to decide. Here is one of the scenarios for the New Year's mini-performance.
Participants: two high school girls, a boy and children.
Two girlfriends are sitting - high school students.
First: Count it up, Ivanov bought me for a fur coat!
Second: What are you doing! Stunned, show me soon.
Goes backstage and returns in the costume of the Snow Maiden. Short fur coat made of fabric, fur on the bottom.
First: (laughs) Yeah, everything is clear, so he bought himself a fur coat too ...
Ivanov enters dressed as Santa Claus: Well, Petrova, we need to work out the fur coat.
Small children in different costumes are running around.
Ivanov sits down: Well, Snow Maiden, sing a song to the kids.
Petrova: (hesitating) A million, a million, a million, red roses ...
Ivanov: Oh, Snow Maiden, well, you’re a joker with me. And now everyone is singing a song about otherwise there will be no gifts.
Ivanov: Minor, they are steaming in the bath, and here I will arrange a verse exam for you. The first one went.
Boy: Santa Claus, don’t worry, give gifts and dump. I'll tell Bata, he'll pay that.
Second boy: Hey, Ivanov in a beard, what other verses. Guys, go ahead.
Children pounce on Santa Claus, drop the Snow Maiden, carry away the sack.
Ivanov: (beard and hat slid down) Well, Petrova! 10 more matinees and we are free.
School scenes, whether funny for high school students or thoughtfully serious, are equally well received by the public and make the performance colorful, vivid and unforgettable.
Funny scenes about school have always been used, are and, of course, will be popular, they look like they reflect the brightest possible events of the wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny scenes showing the brightest school events.
Scene "miraculous potion"
The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. Props require a desk, two chairs, and a teacher's desk with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys are dressed in school uniforms, the teacher first comes out in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.
- Sash, did you do your homework? - Petya asks the neighbor on the desk.
- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! - Sasha answers.
- I did the same, I really want to sleep! - answered Petya, yawning loudly. By the way, I bet I'll get an A today?
What is it like? - Sasha is indignant. - You haven't cooked anything at all, like me!
- It's simple! - Petya answered with a smile. - I read on the Internet that if you mix a pop, yellow soda, green soda, crow's feather, cat's whisker, tomato, green tea and a slice of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, drinking which you can manipulate people. I’ll have a drink, and I’ll tell Marya Ivanovna to give me an A, and she’ll give it! Do you want to try my potion?
- Ha ha! Sasha laughed. - All this is nonsense!
- Well, if you don't want to get an A, don't drink! - Petia muttered.
- Okay, let's drink your dubious broth, suddenly something will work out! - Sasha agreed.
Petya drinks from the bottle with the "drug", hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.
- Fu, what an abomination! - Sasha was indignant.
Drink, drink! Fives are not easy to get! - grinned his neighbor on the desk.
After drinking the broth, the schoolchildren who did not sleep until the morning lay down on the desk and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna at the table in a long black cape with a staff.
- Marya Ivanovna! - gasped Petya. And what kind of outfit is so strange with you?
- Why strange? Marya Ivanovna was surprised. - The most common outfit for a lord of darkness, very suitable for the ceremony of absorbing souls.
- What did you give me, you fool? - Alexander asked quietly and indignantly.
- Probably, this is a side effect ... - Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.
“Today I decided to consume your souls. - With a grin, the teacher said. - I haven't taken souls from lazy people for a long time!
- I've seen something like this in a computer game! - Petya said in a whisper. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!
- I play this game too! - Sasha supported. - In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and say the magic word "arakunada".
- So, let's do this while our souls are still with us! - Peter exclaimed.
The boys move their hands and shout the word "arakunada".
- It will not save you, dear ones, because my staff works from a distance! - shouted the teacher and brandished her staff.
The boys fall on the desk and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna already without a robe and staff.
- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and mantle fell, come on again! - Petya announced happily.
The boys shout the word "arakunada" and keep moving their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.
- What does this mean? She asks indignantly. - Is that how you tell me about sodium?
- Calm down, dark lord! - Sasha shouted. You will not receive our souls!
- Yes, I do not need your souls, but your homework! Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What a concert, boys? I go in - they are asleep. I woke up - they were shouting strange words and waving their hands. Are you OK?
- Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna ... - Sasha stammered.
- So it turns out that we all dreamed about it? - asked his neighbor on the desk. Listen, maybe even the potion worked, let's try to get her to give us a "five"?
- Yah you! - Alexander said offendedly and smiled.
Scene "strange first grader"
The main characters are a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. Of the props, only markers are required.
The teacher walks along the corridor and sees the high school students laughing loudly at the little first grader.
- What's the matter? - the teacher was indignant. - Why do you offend someone younger than you?
And we do not offend! - answered one of the crowd. - Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three markers or one, and he takes only one, saying that this is better! If you don't believe it, see it for yourself!
A high school student takes three felt-tip pens in one hand, and holds only one in the other.
- What will you take for yourself? - laughing, he asks the boy. - One felt-tip pen or several.
- I'd rather take one from you. - the boy answers quietly, takes a felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.
- You see! - the high school student convinces the teacher.
The teacher takes the little student aside.
- Boy, why don't you take three markers at once? - the teacher asks quietly.
- If I take three markers at once, they will think that I am smart, and the game will end. - The boy answers. So, I'd rather be stupid, but with twenty markers! - takes out twenty won markers from the portfolio.
Scene "school romance"
Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. As props, you need a sheet of paper and a pen.
Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.
- Nina Semyonovna! - Kolya shouts. - I want to make a romantic postcard with my own hands and give it to the girl, please help me to compose a beautiful declaration of love.
- And who are you going to give it to, Kolenka? The teacher asks in a whisper. - Probably Tanechke from the parallel class? I see that all the boys really like her.
- No, not her! - Kolenka answers.
- Why? - Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Do you really not like her at all?
- I like it very much ... - Kolya sighs heavily. - But, now all the boys on the head with schoolbags beat her and pull her beautiful braids, therefore, she will soon be bald and stupid. Why do I need such a wife?
Scene "without delay"
Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gilded chain.
The teacher prepares to start the lesson, the fashionista Masha enters the class.
- Masha, I want to praise you! - the teacher admires. - You are very, very rarely late lately!
- And where can I go, Lydia Mikhailovna? - Mashenka answers with a heavy sigh. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the latest fashion collection, and now the one who wakes up first wears it! - adds Masha and demonstrates the chain.
Characters: pupil Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. No props required.
The teacher checks the student's homework.
- Little Johnny, I want to compliment you! - says Natalya Nikolaevna. - You showed yourself very well when doing your homework, you have excellent creative thinking!
- Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! - thanks Little Johnny. Can I compliment you too?
- Well, of course you can! - Natalya Nikolaevna answers.
- You have such long and beautiful nails! - considering the hand, says Little Johnny. “It’s probably very convenient for you to climb trees!
Scene "at the meeting"
Characters: the student's mother, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. No props needed.
The teacher and mother are scolding Kostik.
- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural sector? The teacher asks.
- I remember, Elena Petrovna! - Kostya answers sadly.
- Do you remember that you promised me to study well, and I promised you to buy a bicycle? Mom asks.
- I remember, mommy ... - Kostya says quietly.
- So why don't you study at the "five"? - asks both the teacher and the mother.
- Well, if you do not keep your promises, I do not consider it necessary to keep yours! - exclaims Kostik.
Scene for schoolchildren. (A play from school life)
DEAR TEACHERS!
Characters:
Leading,
Zaitsev,
Lisitsyn,
Morkovkin,
Raccoons,
Goshkin,
Koshkin,
Senkina,
Lastochkin.
Part 1
Leading (from students): Dear audience! I propose to declare our paramount solemn meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what to do next with the school.
Students (from the seat): Right! How much can you endure!
Leading: Because we do not observe the main law of school life - "Learning should be fun!" The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class Zaitsev.
Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. Moreover, in a comfortable environment. I don't get enough sleep on my desk. And then, there are such indelicate teachers who wake up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is a disgrace!
Lisitsyn (from the seat): Don't wake you up, so you fall on your neighbors! On the contrary, I think the main problem is that the lesson is too boring! There should be loud music, a disco there, something like that!
Leading: I ask you to follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, do not stick your head out until you have been given the floor. Go on, Zaitsev. What are your constructive suggestions?
Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, we must create human conditions. At least clamshells, or something, put! And, please, protect from any Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and rumble! Personally, I don't need it.
Leading: So you are for separate training? There is a grain of reason in this. Secretary, write it down: clamshells and split tuition. Who wants to add on the merits? Morkovkin!
Morkovkin: I personally do not like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Continuous scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, they would have made a pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food so as not to ruin our stomachs here. Kebabs there, ice cream. Chebureks. The list can then be compiled.
Leading : I think no one has any objections. (Turns to the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each class. Who is next?
Raccoons: We are not talking about that. After all, these are all peripherals. We come to school and sit in it for the best 11 years of our life, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study the things that are really necessary for the survival of the student. For example: The best way cheating, the best way to distract the teacher in the lesson, how to promote parents for money, how to reduce the school load to a minimum, how to spend school time pleasantly and profitably.
Leading: I personally respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this term anyway, we must spend it with minimal losses. Secretary, please write down Enotov's speech almost word for word! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What should we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a presentation.
Goshkin: I really watched here, but they, it, in nature, are generally cut off. They call it all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then knocked down the pressure. And they are yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a kangaroo breed, so what, who feels bad from this? I suggest that everyone who yells and asks to be kicked out of school.
Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are wrong in principle. It is necessary to work with the material that is. Do not drive out, but reeducate!
Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must endure too! You, Koshkin, especially! Who threw a cockroach into my compote yesterday in the dining room? To re-educate and re-educate you yourself!
Goshkin : Ha! It's a pity! Take pity on yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!
Leading: Let's go without class segregation, please. Go on, Senkina.
Senkina: No, really, just think. By 8 am every day. Especially you will not skip, because adults have even stricter troubles on this score. We put up with them one per lesson, they put up with thirty of us at once. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - not only yell, but you will also start biting! This is any of us, just about, they are over the head with a portfolio - and you can relax for fifteen minutes. And such methods are prohibited for teachers.
Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have come, let them endure.
Senkina: Good reasoning for you! And she, perhaps, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors are ?! You can't really argue. And now the old one is to learn in a new way, but she can’t do anything else. Your mother over there works as a cleaner, has she dreamed about it all her life?
Koshkin : And where will she go with three children? She might have gone to study, but who will support her?
Senkina: So are the teachers. They got into a mess once, and now they endure with their last bit of strength. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not get angry, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relations and influence gently, delicately.
Leading : Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and to correct their behavioral stereotypes.
Lastochkin: Or maybe we should arrange a vacation for them? Let them rest a little, at the same time they will grow kinder.
Leading: They would be happy, but who will let them? They have the same attendance, program.
Lastochkin: Why can't we teach ourselves a lesson? Let them slowly wander to school, sit on the back desk, and we will all scold what is supposed to be there. And let them relax for at least a week or two. And it really hurts to look at some of them - they are so twitched, crying in a madhouse.
Leading : Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? We write it down. How will we present it to them?
Senkina: Yes, let's think of something!
Leading: OK. I think we have had a good meeting today. Will be working.
Everyone leaves.
Part 2
There are two on the stage - the Host and Senkina.
Leading: Dear teachers! We are awfully happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this solemn day, we want to tell you how dearly we love you and how grateful you are for everything you do for us.
Senkina : Dear teachers! We know how tired you are at your hard work. Therefore, we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! For the next two weeks, you do not need to prepare for lessons! Because we will lead them for you ... we! And you will quietly and calmly rest on the back desks. Like your laziest students.
Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.
Senkina: Don't clutter your heads with overwhelming tasks.
Leading: Don't find fault with your appearance.
Senkina: You may even be late!
Leading : And skip classes!
Senkina: No, we, of course, will try to make it interesting for you in our classes. But we will not slavery!
Leading: And we also wish you all:
Everything (in turn):
- Happiness!
- Health!
- Energy!
- Courage!
- Talented students!
- Responsible parents!
- Loyal administration!
- Optimism!
- And a big salary!
Everything (in chorus): Happy Holidays!
Boys in fluffy skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to a melody from an operetta.
You can't live without a school, no.
In her the happiness of life,
In her fate is the dawn.
Teachers teach us here
Me, you, you, me.
We are connected with them by one destiny.
Since childhood, we come here with you,
School has replaced our home
We go here every day.
We congratulate you on this holiday,
With all my heart and soul now
We will both play and sing
How fun we live.
We will both play and sing
About how fun, how happily we live.
Scene for schoolchildren
RING SHOW THEATER
There are two teams on the stage. In front of one is a sign on which “Parents” is written in large letters, in front of the other - “Teachers”.
Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone is installed on the parent meeting of the Nth schools. Team of teachers versus team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I feel sorry for the teachers too ... So, let's start!
1st teacher: Dear comrades parents! We have invited you today to report on new outrages perpetrated by your children.
1st parent : Dear fellow teachers! Our houses stand next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students allow themselves.
2nd teacher : Your children.
2nd parent : Your students.
3rd teacher: I wonder who brings the frogs from the house and makes them croak in the classroom?
3rd parent : And who makes children saw the legs of chairs at home, allegedly doing their homework at work?
4th teacher: But what if you do all your homework for your children?
4th parent: You ask stupid tasks and want your kids to get smarter!
5th teacher: Aha, but how wise you are! And who gives out prizes to children for a good mark? I only wonder how many of our fives are enough for your pay?
5th parent : And our calculations with children do not concern you.
6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?
6th parent: And who taught them to write?
7th teacher : And sloppy!
7th parent: Look at your school! And in general, it is high time to organize a parking lot. And then you come for the child, there is nowhere to park the car.
8th teacher: Just about, it would not hurt for a long time to help the school in the improvement of the territory.
8th parent: Your students ...
9th teacher: Your children!
Leading: Stop, draw, the question remains open.
Scene "Telepathy"
NEUMNOV (hums with joy). Well, Copperfields, you thought of that very well. Telepathy! Thoughts in the distance! Come on, telepath me something.
Copperfield. He spreads his hands like a psychic.
Neumnov. The storm covers the sky with darkness ... Why do you instill in me literature - we now have biology. Here, take the textbook - paragraph 36. Look, inspire stronger.
Copperfield sits on the edge of the stage, puts the textbook on his knees, looks into it, sends thoughts.
Call. The beginning of the lesson. The literature teacher enters.
Teacher. Hello guys, Irina Ivanovna is ill, so there will be literature instead of biology. So, the novel by Alexander Pushkin "Eugene Onegin". Who wants to answer? As always, a forest of hands. Neumnov, to the board.
NEUMNOV (clears his throat). The image of Eugene Onegin. Onegin is a secular Petersburg man, a metropolitan aristocrat. Drawing the image of the hero, Pushkin says in detail ... (the action of telepathy begins) that his body, the thallus, consists of a fungus and algae, which are in close interconnection. He is very unpretentious. Lives in deserts, rocks, tundra. Dying off, it forms humus. This is his main role ... in the novel.
Teacher. Unwise, what's the matter with you?
Neumnov. Can I better tell you about Lenskoye? There are many wonderful inclinations in Lenskoye, the author points to his inherent "noble aspiration of feelings and thoughts of young people." In the middle of summer, it blooms. Insects visit its flowers poorly - there is neither nectar nor an abundance of pollen in them. (Shakes his head.) Lensky is an educated, cultured person. It is planted in the spring, before planting, the tubers are germinated in a bright room.
Teacher. Neumnov, did you get sick by accident? Or not ready to answer?
Neumnov. Ready, ready. Can I have a female image? Tatiana is a sweet ideal for Pushkin. She is a whole person. By nature, Tatiana is gifted with a lively mind. In autumn, she lays eggs in a cocoon woven from a thin web. She weaves a cocoon in secluded places: under stumps, stones. Outwardly, Tatiana is larger than the male.
The teacher looks puzzled.
Neumnov. No!!! No!!! I prepared the image of Olga.
Teacher. Well Olga is Olga.
Neumnov. The complete opposite of Tatiana is her sister Olga. Olga has a lot of cheerfulness, energy, agility. Her body is covered with scales. When shedding, the skin comes off in one piece. She moves by twisting her body along the ground. Its toxicity is well known.
Teacher. Enough! Sit down. Count!
Call.
NEUMNOV (runs up to Koperfield). Well, the Copperfield, well, he made me feel good. Thoughts at a distance. So much for telepathy. (He hits the head with the textbook.) Here you are - the top five is guaranteed! (Strikes.) Here you are - you will become an excellent student!
By the will of fate it happened
Or is this your cross,
And all the forces are given to the school,
And for lessons - like a fight.
And at night you dream of a board
And you have no other worries,
As soon as tomorrow what happens
And will the class understand the task?
Chorus: Don't hang your nose teacher cute,
Is life hard or good.
Knowledge and soul are united (2 times),
Love for students is one!
Thank you for everything, our relatives,
And even if we grieve you,
Forgive us, we know every hour
Not easy to devote to work,
I think of us alone
Live by concern!
Chorus repetition
It was in the evening
Children have nothing to do.
Someone jumped and jumped,
Someone was dozing in the noise.
1. And today I have “5”. And you?
2. And I have a "2" in physical - nonsense!
3. And we had fun again in class today:
Ivanov managed to chew all the crayons at recess.
Mary Ivanovna - for chalk, Ivanov already turned white.
4. And we have a parrot! And you?
5. And a hippopotamus has stamped on us! Here!
6. We wanted to start an aquarium in our class,
So that the fish could save us from stress, overloads.
7. To keep your aquarium longer,
You need to increase the security staff, that's for sure!
8. We played computers well, probably for an hour!
After that they forgot the name of us with Seryoga.
9. And our portfolio has disappeared, this is - again!
Lost phone, that's two!
And fourthly, the boy Roma forgot all this at home!
10. And we have objects - darkness! And you?
11. And we have more. We have no time to be lazy:
There is a subject “learn to learn”!
12. What a thing! Believe it or not -
In the classroom, I am a strategist.
I will find an approach to the book,
I can understand the whole context.
14. And I do SAMBO, I go to the art club,
I am fond of the jazz ensemble and value the theater.
15. I have a pool, French, piano and wushu.
I have time for everything everywhere, I will not miss anything.
16. And our teacher is cool,
Strict, smart and funny.
17. Very kind and diligent.
18. Exemplary.
19. The teacher is wonderful.
20. Patient and considerate.
21. There is a very competent director,
22. The head teacher is experienced, talented.
23. We have a school, friends
24. We are all a friendly family.
25. It was in the evening,
There was nothing to argue about.
