A scene about being late. Mini-sketches on a school theme. Scene "Fascinating Hygiene"
Funny scenes about school have always been used, are and, of course, will be popular, they look like they reflect the brightest possible events of the wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny scenes showing the brightest school events.
Scene "miraculous potion"
The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. Props require a desk, two chairs, and a teacher's desk with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys are dressed in school uniforms, the teacher first comes out in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.
- Sash, did you do your homework? - Petya asks the neighbor on the desk.
- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! - Sasha answers.
- I did the same, I really want to sleep! - answered Petya, yawning loudly. By the way, I bet I'll get an A today?
What is it like? - Sasha is indignant. - You haven't cooked anything at all, like me!
- It's simple! - Petya answered with a smile. - I read on the Internet that if you mix a pop, yellow soda, green soda, crow's feather, cat's whisker, tomato, green tea and a slice of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, drinking which you can manipulate people. I’ll have a drink, and I’ll tell Marya Ivanovna to give me an A, and she’ll give it! Do you want to try my potion?
- Ha ha! Sasha laughed. - All this is nonsense!
- Well, if you don't want to get an A, don't drink! - Petia muttered.
- Okay, let's drink your dubious broth, suddenly something will work out! - Sasha agreed.
Petya drinks from the bottle with the "drug", hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.
- Fu, what an abomination! - Sasha was indignant.
Drink, drink! Fives are not easy to get! - grinned his neighbor on the desk.
After drinking the broth, the schoolchildren who did not sleep until the morning lay down on the desk and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna at the table in a long black cape with a staff.
- Marya Ivanovna! - gasped Petya. And what kind of outfit is so strange with you?
- Why strange? Marya Ivanovna was surprised. - The most common outfit for a lord of darkness, very suitable for the ceremony of absorbing souls.
- What did you give me, you fool? - Alexander asked quietly and indignantly.
- Probably, this is a side effect ... - Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.
“Today I decided to consume your souls. - With a grin, the teacher said. - I haven't taken souls from lazy people for a long time!
- I've seen something like this in a computer game! - Petya said in a whisper. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!
- I play this game too! - Sasha supported. - In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and say the magic word "arakunada".
- So, let's do this while our souls are still with us! - Peter exclaimed.
The boys move their hands and shout the word "arakunada".
- It will not save you, dear ones, because my staff works from a distance! - shouted the teacher and brandished her staff.
The boys fall on the desk and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna already without a robe and staff.
- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and mantle fell, come on again! - Petya proclaimed joyfully.
The boys shout the word "arakunada" and keep moving their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.
- What does this mean? She asks indignantly. - Is that how you tell me about sodium?
- Calm down, dark lord! - Sasha shouted. You will not receive our souls!
- Yes, I do not need your souls, but homework yours! Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What a concert, boys? I go in - they are asleep. I woke up - they were shouting strange words and waving their hands. Are you OK?
- Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna ... - Sasha stammered.
- So it turns out that we all dreamed about it? - asked his neighbor on the desk. Listen, maybe even the potion worked, let's try to get her to give us a "five"?
- Yah you! - Alexander said offendedly and smiled.
Scene "strange first grader"
The main characters are a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. From the props, only markers are required.
The teacher walks along the corridor and sees the high school students laughing loudly at the little first grader.
- What's the matter? - the teacher was indignant. - Why do you offend someone younger than you?
And we do not offend! - answered one of the crowd. - Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three markers or one, and he takes only one, saying that this is better! If you don’t believe it, see it for yourself!
A high school student takes three felt-tip pens in one hand, and holds only one in the other.
- What will you take for yourself? - laughing, he asks the boy. - One felt-tip pen or several.
- I'd rather take one from you. - the boy answers quietly, takes a felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.
- You see! - the high school student convinces the teacher.
The teacher takes the little student aside.
- Boy, why don't you take three markers at once? - the teacher asks quietly.
- If I take three markers at once, they will think that I am smart, and the game is over. - The boy answers. So, I'd rather be stupid, but with twenty markers! - takes out twenty won markers from the portfolio.
Scene "school romance"
Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. As props, you need a sheet of paper and a pen.
Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.
- Nina Semyonovna! - Kolya shouts. - I want to make a romantic postcard with my own hands and give it to the girl, help me, please, to compose a beautiful declaration of love.
- And who are you going to give it to, Kolenka? The teacher asks in a whisper. - Probably Tanechke from the parallel class? I see that all the boys really like her.
- No, not her! - Kolenka answers.
- Why? - Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Do you really not like her at all?
- I like it very much ... - Kolya sighs heavily. - But, now all the boys on the head with schoolbags beat her and pull her beautiful braids, therefore, she will soon be bald and stupid. Why do I need such a wife?
Scene "without delay"
Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gilded chain.
The teacher prepares to start the lesson, the fashionista Masha enters the class.
- Masha, I want to praise you! - the teacher admires. - You are very, very rarely late lately!
- And where can I go, Lydia Mikhailovna? - Mashenka answers with a heavy sigh. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the latest fashion collection, and now the one who wakes up first wears it! - adds Masha and demonstrates the chain.
Characters: pupil Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. No props required.
The teacher checks the student's homework.
- Little Johnny, I want to compliment you! - says Natalya Nikolaevna. - You showed yourself very well when doing your homework, you have excellent creative thinking!
- Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! - thanks Little Johnny. Can I compliment you too?
- Well, of course you can! - Natalya Nikolaevna answers.
- You have such long and beautiful nails! - considering the hand, says Little Johnny. “It’s probably very convenient for you to climb trees!
Scene "at the meeting"
Characters: the student's mother, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. No props needed.
The teacher and mom are scolding Kostik.
- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural sector? The teacher asks.
- I remember, Elena Petrovna! - Kostya answers sadly.
- Do you remember that you promised me to study well, and I promised you to buy a bicycle? Mom asks.
- I remember, Mommy ... - Kostya says quietly.
- So why don't you study at the "five"? - asks both the teacher and the mother.
- Well, if you do not keep your promises, I do not consider it necessary to keep yours! - exclaims Kostik.
See also funny poems about school for kids. The merits of our funny scenes are that they do not need costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and those who play the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be attached to a magazine), they need to rehearse for a short time. Moreover, these scenes are close to students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes by looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also see School Humor.
1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Pupil Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: Because dad was urgently summoned to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Disciple Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?
Disciple Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why not?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of him: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the gender of the words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, and "stocking" is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and sort the sentence.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Disciple Smirnov: Dad is the subject, he left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Disciple Sobakin: My mother works at a knitted fabric factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down a sentence.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Pupil Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inconsiderate?
Disciple Rubashkin: Why?
Teacher: Where did you see the bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Disciple Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Disciple Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, bell!
2. Scene "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Disciple: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Disciple: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Disciple: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Disciple: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Disciple: No, the plum should not.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Disciple: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Disciple: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Disciple: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer to you in my diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Scene "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
The teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Disciple: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Disciple: “Dad and Mom”. Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Take the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: Five, then? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Disciple: In the prepositional!
Teacher: Prepositional? Why is that?
Disciple: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!
Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how many will be three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Disciple Ivanov: But mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Disciple Simakov: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "The Traveling Frog"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: He will go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov (going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Disciple Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried that the call would interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try it, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakova's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene "Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I have not even begun to tell.
Andrey (laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it is clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it's great you came up with it - it's funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: Why?
Teacher: For the whole year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I just don't know what to put in the list.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We carry out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanitch?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn't matter, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper " Primary School"," Mathematics ", No. 24, 2002)
8. Scene "Schoolboy and Salesman"
Characters: student and shop assistant
Sales assistant: What can you tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: Not in the know.
Schoolboy: Okay ... Pythagorean Theorem?
Sales assistant:… (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales assistant: (sighing) I don't know ...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you trying to do with your “What can I tell you?” !!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"
Characters: students and the stadium informant
A group of young fans, led by the leader, loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the informant in the stadium turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention of young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather"
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Ouch, deeds of power.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, one wick has frozen this. Rolls to the board. Give, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he lets show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how he fights. Himself with a fingal. The teacher was almost crazy, but he was great. Into the rzhaka. Cool, isn't it?
- Was there a horse there?
- What horse?
- Well, that was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, you didn’t understand anything?
- Come on, let's start over.
- Well, let's. So one wick ...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, a long one, drove up to the shket ...
- What did he ride on a bicycle?
- No, the school had a bicycle.
- Which shket?
- Well, one shibzdik. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with anyone, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let him, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how, sawed it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, great?
- How?
- Well, this very, shnobel?
- No, the shnobel was at the school. And at the wick there was a fingal, he hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He had opened his mitten, so he fidgeted.
- And why a mitten, he fidgeted in winter?
- Yes, there was no winter, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a fingal, that is, with a great, no, with coils. But the very rolling thing that was great was giggling.
- How did you go?
- And so, covered himself. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don’t know!
- Do you imagine if everyone spoke the way you do, what would happen?
- What?
- Do you remember, at Gogol's. "The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through forests and mountains full of its waters, it neither stutters nor thunders. You look and do not know whether its majestic width is walking or not walking" and further "A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper."
- I remember.
- And now listen to how it sounds in your quirk language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, cutting its cool waves through the forests and mountains. Doesn't shout, does not cover. you don’t know whether he is sawing or not. A rare bird with a schnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)
11. Young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl sits at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! Are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!
Suddenly, someone's hand confidently takes the young man's ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an aged woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I AM…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.
GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). Rummaged everything, glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. All in your grandfather!
X-RAYER (to the boy). Have you swallowed grandma's glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANNY. Partisan! All in your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (joyfully). Yeah, got caught! To have such a thing at home.
X-RAY GENOLOGIST (examines the photograph). Well, well, well ... You know ... he has not only glasses here, but also a wallet with money. I can't say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANNY. This is not ours, we do not need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can't watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out onto the floor.
GRANDMA (grabs glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
X-RAYGENOLOGIST (turns the wallet in his hands). Do not. But the wallet, if possible, I will keep as a keepsake.
GRANNY. This is not ours, not ours, we do not need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
X-RAYER (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Mathematics teacher: Leshy
Geography Teacher: Kikimora
Botany Trainer: Witch
Homeroom teacher: Water
SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
Well, what did he do again?
Leshy:
Multiplied minus with sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Mixed up albinos
With albatrosses ...
WITCH:
Threw apricots ...
KIKIMORA:
Threw bubbles! ..
Leshy:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with a yawn!
WATER:
But yesterday
Dragged into class
Hippo !!!
Leshy:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (oily):
Maybe give him poison? ..
Or thrown to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our century
Such measures are outdated.
Leshy:
A hundred years ago
We would have it,
Of course,
Have eaten ...
But now
We have
Not too many students
In reserve...
WATER:
Agree!
We will not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to captivate him
A good example.
SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmm ... Less, more ...
That is - more or less! ..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example will not work ...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..
ZMEY GORYNYCH:
Lock him in the closet - let him teach lessons!
And if she doesn't stop yawning ...
ALL WELL:
We will turn it
Into chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Regime of the day
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Of course! Mode ... Mode - this is where I want, I jump there.
PETER:
- Not right! Regime is the daily routine. Are you doing it?
VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.
PETER:
- Like this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I have to walk twice a day, and I walk four!
PETER:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but violating it! Do you know what your daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Rise. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETER:
- Good.
VOVA:
- And it could be even better.
PETER:
- How is it?
VOVA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETER:
- Oh no. With this regime, you will be lazy and ignorant.
VOVA:
- Will not work.
PETER:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regime.
PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together we get the whole regime.
PETER:
- I do not understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lift. The grandmother is doing the exercises. Washing is grandma. Bed cleaning - grandma. Breakfast - me. The walk is me. Preparing lessons - me and my grandmother. The walk is me. Lunch - me.
PETER:
- Aren't you ashamed ?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https: // site / smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej /
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists are facing each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come on together!
Pushkin and his adversary raise their pistols. Suitable for barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is well, a slow-witted! Riddles here I came across interesting about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. I, of course, guessed everything right away, and then decided to check Vovka for quick wits.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: "Between two calls, the term is called ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is appropriate, but there should be a clue to the rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he said it was right, and then you start ...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. "The sportsman told us: Everyone should go to the sports ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? You need to buy new sneakers, otherwise my soles are already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporttovary store is right in front of the school. You saw him a hundred times too.
SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But this riddle can you guess in rhyme? "Schools are not simple buildings, schools receive ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn't touch the bow at Lenka Petrova's, and she banged me over the head with a book.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to one more riddle: "And today I got a grade again ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
I again got a C and C in mathematics.
SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and a slow-witted! Well slow-witted! Although ... I look, his face is sly, cunning. Maybe he was kidding me? Today is April 1st !!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello dear! ... Did our Bear do his homework? … Yes? How is he in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room ?! Heck! Did you eat the soup ?! Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!
L. Mishchenkova
"I am late..."
Characters
Anton is a late student.
A student who is late for a lesson rushes into the classroom.
Anton. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. We understood this. Explain why. What happened?
Anton... Oh, what has not happened! .. I'll start in order. When I hear the sound of the alarm, I feel like I'm being shot.
Teacher. And you jump up right away?
Anton. No, I'm lying like a dead man! Therefore, Kesha, my parrot, wakes me up. At exactly 7.30 am he says: “ Good morning! It's time to get up. " But yesterday it was Kesha's birthday, and I treated him to ice cream. And in the morning Kesha did not wake me up - he lost his voice, poor fellow ...
Teacher... I ate too much ice cream, you say. Interesting...
Anton. Well, that means ... I left the house ... And then an armed bandit attacked me!
Teacher... Horror! And what did he do?
Anton... Took away your homework!
Anton... Then I decided to help the old woman cross the street. And as soon as I brought it to the middle, the traffic light broke! A red light came on, and the cars drove without stopping. So we sunbathed in the middle of the street until the traffic controller appeared.
Teacher... That's the story ... Tell me, Anton, is there even a word of truth in your story?
Anton... As many as two: I'm LATE.
"During break"
Characters
Classmates:
The bell rings from the lesson. Children sit on chairs along the edge of the stage: some with a book in their hands, some with games, start a conversation with each other.
Vitalik... All people are like people: at recess they rush along the corridor, and we, like crazy, sit in the classroom.
Masha. So we punished ourselves: we behaved badly, now we sit in class for a whole week.
Someone sneezes.
Dasha... What will we have now?
Andrey... Maths.
Lesha. I love mathematics ... (Turns to Sergei) And what is your favorite subject?
Sergey... And my favorite subject is TV!
Anton. And mine is a tape recorder!
Yura. And mine is a computer!
Natasha. Do you have a computer at home?
Yura... There is.
Natasha... You probably want to become a programmer?
Yura... No, a doctor.
Natasha... Ha, you have a "three" in the "World Around"!
Masha. So what, Natasha, he will fix her! What kind of doctor - surgeon?
Yura... No, dental: people have one heart, and teeth - 32!
Someone sneezes.
Masha... Do you remember, Katya, how Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks Yura in class: "Why do storks fly to Africa for the winter?"
Kate. I remember, I remember ... What did you say then, Yura?
Yura... Obviously, blacks also want to have children!
Sergey... Vitalik, did you get sick yesterday from your parents because you left home from the rhythm lesson?
Vitalik... Yes, not that horrible, but the relationship soured. Imagine, in the morning I hint to my father: "Dad, I saw in a dream that you bought me three servings of ice cream." Usually he understands hints, and then he says: "Great, you can keep them for yourself!"
Anton... Well, that's nothing. But my dad once gave me two slaps on the head.
Nastya... For what?
Anton... First time because I showed the diary with "deuces". And the second - when he saw that it was his old diary!
Nastya... Well, why did you show? Himself to blame. You need to be careful with your parents. They forgot that they themselves were once children.
Kate. What time is it, Lesh?
Lesha. 10.20.
Kate... This means that we have another 10 minutes to sunbathe before the start of the lesson.
Dasha... Lyudmila Vladimirovna said there won't be an extension today ...
Sergey... Badly. I don't like doing homework with my grandmother. Lyudmila Vladimirovna immediately recognizes her handwriting.
Zhenya. I once did my homework at home. And when I handed over the notebook, Lyudmila Vladimirovna grabbed her head: "It's just incredible that one person can make so many mistakes!" And I say: “Why alone? Together with dad! "
Someone sneezes.
Anton... I, too, once did not go to an extended program. So Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks: "Admit it, Anton, who did your homework for you?"
And I answer: “I don’t know, I went to bed early yesterday.”
Masha... What I like most about the extended course is drinking tea.
Andrey. Yes, great!
Masha... And my mother gave me a silver spoon and said: “Take it to class. If you drink tea, put a spoon in a cup. All microbes perish from it, from silver. "
And I said: "Mom, do you want me to drink tea with dead germs?"
Sergey. And somehow I shout: “Lyudmila Vladimirovna! My tea is unsweetened. " And she: "Did you stir the sugar?" - "Stirred". - "Which way?" - "Right". - "So the sugar is gone to the left!"
Anton sneezes, wipes his mouth with his sleeve.
Natasha... Anton, do you happen to have a handkerchief?
Anton... Yes, but I'm sorry, Natasha, I don't lend it to anyone.
Masha. Listen, Lesh, I want to ask you everything. When I walk past your windows, sometimes I hear your cat screaming in an almost human voice ...
Lesha... I wash her.
Masha... I also wash my cat, but she doesn't scream like that.
Lesha... Are you squeezing it out?
Masha... Well, you are a flayer, Lesha!
Lesha... You yourself are a flayer! But my cat has no fleas. And you, Masha, do not forget to tell your mother that Lyudmila Vladimirovna is calling her to school!
Masha. And I already said, Lesha! “Mom,” I say, “we have an abbreviated parent meeting today.” And she asks: "How is it - abbreviated?" And I answer: "It's very simple: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, you, me and the director."
L. TOamin
Scene "Our Cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher(dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Perfectly! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Take the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: So the top five? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Student: In the prepositional!
Teacher: In the prepositional? Why is that?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
AND. Butman
"Correct answer"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, it shouldn't be a plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer for you in my diary!
Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I just don't know what to put in the list.
Petrov(looking gloomily at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our math was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanitch! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: Like this?
Petrov: But, look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: Move out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanitch. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 is also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanitch, exactly.
Teacher: Move out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanitch?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Let us suppose.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
AND. WITHemerenko
"Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I have not even begun to tell.
Andrey(laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it is clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it's great you came up with it - it's funny and with a riddle!
Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
"At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: class teacher and students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Apprentice Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Simakov's student: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Apprentice Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "Frog traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Pupil Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Pupil Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: Truth.
Pupil Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Will go to the board ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov(coming out to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Pupil Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Pupil Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Pupil Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried that the call would interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try it, Belkov.
Apprentice Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Klyushkin.
Pupil Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
"In math lessons"
Characters: class teacher and students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Apprentice Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Apprentice Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Apprentice Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you do not know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how much is three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Apprentice Ivanov: And mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Pupil Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Apprentice Ivanov(reaches out and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, put me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Apprentice Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: Do not know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Pupil Klevtsov: Granddad? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandpa. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is "egg", Sinichkin?
Pupil Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why is that?
Pupil Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the kind of words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, and "stocking" is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the proposal.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Pupil Smirnov: Dad is the subject, left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkin's student: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Pupil Sobakin: My mom works in a KNITTING factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, come out to the blackboard, write down a proposal.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Pupil Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inconsiderate?
Apprentice Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where have you seen the bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Pupil Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Pupil Petushkov: Cat dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Pupil Petushkov: Well, how is it? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
To the attention of dear teachers, educators and respected parents! Here are the short and funny scenes about school, which will make any matinee or festive evening unforgettable and very fun!
On this page you will find great scripts for school plays. Amusing performances with meaning are designed for children and adolescents of all ages.
It will be interesting for kids to watch how forest animals learn numbers and solve simple examples from an arithmetic textbook.
And high school students, as well as their parents, will discover the secrets of the difficult profession of a school teacher.
Read scripts, take ideas into service, and musical accompaniment for cheerful matinees choose according to your taste!
Scene No. 1 "Debut of a young teacher at 10 A"
A young inexperienced teacher enters the classroom with a magazine and a pointer. Moving awkwardly in high heels, she begins her first lesson in her life.
Teacher: Hello children! Sit down, let's get acquainted! I will name the names, and you get up and say "Here." Clear?
Pupil number 1 gets up and shouts: Here!
Teacher: Who is there?
Student No. 1: I, Sveta Got it!
Teacher: Ah, well, sit down!
Student No. 2 gets up and shouts: Here!
Teacher with fear: Who is here?
Student No. 2: I, Valentina Prisyadka!
Teacher in disbelief: Nuuuu, well, sit down, but no, stand up!
Pupil number 3 gets up and shouts: Here!
Teacher in panic : Who is there?
Student No. 3: It's me, Nastya Pristanka!
Teacher slightly shocked: Okay, sit down! Oh, no, you Sit down, sit down, and Stand up, stand up! Or vice versa, I'm confused !!!
The young teacher grabs her head and whispers: God, where did you come from, Yo-mine!
Student No. 4 gets up and shouts: Here!
Teacher: And who are you?
Pupil number 4: Alena Yomoe!
Teacher squeezes the pointer: Only this was not enough, sit down!
Student No. 2: Here, Squat!
Student No. 5 followed by: Here, Masha Not Enough!
Teacher angry: Come on, both sat down!
Student No. 6: Here!
Teacher in absolute panic yells: Whoooo here?
Student No. 7: Vasya Anuseli! (laughter in the hall)
Teacher wants to break the pointer, whispers: How tired of you!
Two strong guys rise from the back of the desk and shout loudly: We!
Students from the back desk in chorus: We, the Nadoelov brothers!
The teacher faints. And the school principal enters the classroom and pronounces the final phrase:
“Dear teachers! Before going to work at school, be patient and have a lot of love for children! "
Scene number 2 "The inner voice of the teacher"
Three heroes appear on the stage - a presenter, a teacher and an actor who will portray the inner voice of an irritated teacher.
Leading: Good afternoon dear friends! Remember when I said that I really love my teachers? So, nothing has changed since then, and after I got to know their inner world, I began to love and appreciate my teachers even more.
Applause.
Leading: Every teenager knows that in order to bring up worthy members of society, great endurance is needed. It is especially difficult for excellent female teachers. Can you imagine what Maria Ivanovna is thinking about when the charges bring her to the edge? Look carefully at the scene and see everything with your own eyes!
Applause. In the center of the hall is a chair on which the teacher sits, and behind him is an actor with a sign on his chest "Inner Voice".
The teacher stares at the class and nervously adjusts her hair.
Inner voice: What are you terrible children, how did you get me! Do you want to declare war on me? You will get it! (disturbing music sounds, the "Inner Voice" actor ties a red ribbon around his head and makes war paint with a felt-tip pen).
Teacher says quietly and slowly: By tomorrow's lesson, you will repeat all the rules! Then learn paragraphs 5,6,7,8 and 9 as close to the text as possible!
Teacher: So on the back desk! Paramonov, spit out the gum! I don't talk to ruminants and cloven-hoofed animals!
Teacher: Yes, and now we continue the lesson, he will go to the blackboard ... Kozlovsky.
Student behind the scenes he cheerfully reads a verse: By the lukomorye a green oak, a golden chain on that oak ...
Teacher : Well done, sit down, and now Dyachenko will go to the board and continue read a poem by Pushkin!
Student behind the scenes he reads poetry perfectly: Going to the right starts a song, to the left - he says a fairy tale. There are miracles, there the goblin wanders ...
Teacher: Well, miracles are straightforward, and only, even Dyachenko learned.
Leading: Well, what can I say in conclusion, dear viewers? Thanks to our dear teachers for their love, patience and endurance!
Scene number 3 "Teachers really ..."
Parents, teaching staff gathered in the hall, and senior pupils (8-11) prepared a funny parody scene. 7-10 people come out on stage to cheerful music and wave their hands affably. The audience laughs, claps, the actors run away.
Leading: Do you know how our teachers return home after school?
The song "Hakuna Matata" is played and cheerful actors with handbags run out onto the stage. The audience laughs.
Leading: It would be great if it really was! However, teachers return home in a completely different mood!
A sad song sounds and the actors, dragging their bags on the floor, wander across the stage. Then they sit down and check the school notebooks.
Girls sing: "Again we will not sleep, and we will check, and we will check."
Leading: Yes, sad picture! Do you know how corporate parties are held, where our teachers have a rest?
Beautiful music sounds, and the couples slowly dance the waltz.
Leading: Yes, maybe, but when the teachers are not seen by their students, everything is completely different!
Fast dance music sounds, the actors dance and take selfies.
Leading: And if teachers are going to a party at one of their colleagues, what happens there?
A mischievous Russian folk song or Verka Serduchka sounds, to which the actors start dancing. The audience laughs.
Leading: And when it ends fun party what are our teachers doing?
Actors take the stage in leather jackets and black glasses. Hard rock sounds, boys flex their muscles, and girls act as cool models.
Leading: Yes, teachers are people too and are always young at heart. They want fun, joy and love!
Actors go on stage, dance to a beautiful melody, hug and bow to the audience. The audience is delighted!
Scene No. 5 "First September"
The presenter goes on stage and announces that today is the beginning of the school year. The whole hall turns into a classroom, and a kind teacher is about to appear on the doorstep. Spectators are waiting, the door opens and a man (or a boy) comes out dressed in a woman's costume.
Teacher: Hello children!
Hall loudly: Hello!
Teacher: Forgot my name?
The audience is at a loss.
Teacher: Alexandra Borisovna!
Hall loudly: Alexandra Borisovna!
Teacher: And you were not taught to get up when the teacher enters the classroom ?!
The audience laughs!
Teacher: And who didn’t get up, that poor student!
The teacher opens the magazine: Check who is not in the class? Myasnikov!
1 actor speaks from the audience, stands up: Here!
Teacher: Myasnikov, you will sing on Teacher's Day, and no objections are accepted!
Myasnikov mumbles: I can't sing, Alexandra Borisovna!
Teacher: If you cannot - we will teach, if you do not want - we will force! So, then Sokolov!
2 actor responds from the audience, stands up: Here!
Teacher: Sokolov, why is the shirt worn out? Get out of the classroom and put yourself in order!
Sokolov is recovering: Alexandra Borisovna, why are there so many newcomers in the class?
Teacher: They are all paysites, Sokolov ?!
The audience laughs!
Teacher: Where is Mikhalkova ?!
3 actor responds from the audience, stands up: Here!
Teacher: Mikhalkova, are you on duty? Why is there no chalk?
Mikhalkova: Alexandra Borisovna, light pointers have also switched to markers a long time ago!
Teacher: Yes, progress has gone far, soon we will draw fingers in the air and telepathically slap them on the head! So on, Timofeev!
4 actor speaks from the audience, stands up: Here!
Teacher: Timofeev, you stayed twice for the second year. Where have you been?
Timofeev: And remember, Alexandra Borisovna, a physical education instructor came to us and asked the boy to help take out the boards.
Teacher: I remember! You took them out for two years?
Timofeev: They took out half an hour, and then spent 2 years!
The audience laughs!
Teacher: Timofeev, sit down!
Timofeev: Thank you, I'll stand!
At this time, the school principal enters the classroom.
Director: Hello children! Hello Alexandra Borisovna!
Now I will tell you the names, come forward.
The director calls the students and a team of girls and boys gathers on the stage. Music sounds, the guys sing a funny song dedicated to school and the beginning of the school year.
Scene number 4 "Exam in English"
There are two chairs on the stage. One of them is occupied by an English teacher, today she is taking the exam at 9 "A". A knock is heard as a student enters the classroom.
The teacher: Come in, please.
Student: What kind of fireplace? It's kind of warm.
The teacher recognizes the most disobedient student: Oh, is that you, Ivanov?
Come on in. Seat down.
Student offended: Well, why immediately down?
Student obediently takes an empty chair.
The teacher: Take a ticket.
Student looks at his watch: Half past seven!
The teacher surprised: What? .. I say pull the ticket!
Student: Which?
The teacher irritated: Anyone! For example, this one!
The student takes the indicated ticket.
The teacher: What’s the topic of the ticket?
Student wonders: What are you? What topic? I don’t wear that, I’m a boy!
The teacher angry: I say, what is the theme of the ticket ?!
Student: I do not know. There is something in English.
The teacher picks up the ticket, adjusts his glasses and reads herself: Airport!
The student repeats.
The teacher prompts: Airport consists ...
The student repeats.
The teacher losing patience: Airport consists of…
The student repeats again.
The teacher gives up: Remember! What's at the airport?
Student thoughtfully: Hall ...
The teacher lightweight: Yes, hall! What's next?
Student: A restaurant?
The teacher: Yes, restaurant. What else?
Student: VLP!
The teacher surprised: What is that?
Student, depicting an airplane with his hand: Explain! Here is the plane. He is take-off, then fly-off and down-to-earth!
The student slaps his hand on the leg, showing the landing of the plane.
The teacher scared.
Student: Understand me?
The teacher shocked: No! What is this "mundane"? Yes, all passengers will die!
Student sly: But I tell you that they will not perish! Let's bet!
The teacher is incredulous, but interested: Argue? .. Well, come on. Let's argue for the top three.
Student holds out his hand: No, five!
The teacher: No, three!
Student: Give it to neither you nor us. Four!
The teacher agrees and they shake hands.
Student: Explain! Cargo plane. What kind of passengers are there?
The teacher laughs and gives the grade. The actors stand up, bow to the audience and run backstage.
Scene number 5 "Math for Kids"
There are desks and a teacher's table on the stage. The bell rings, the children take their seats. The teacher comes in and greets the kids. She sits down at the table, adjusts her glasses and looks carefully at the magazine.
The teacher: Kasatkin, bad test again. Do you know you'll have a deuce in the quarter?
Student mumbles: Yes, you already told me!
The teacher: You promised to improve. And I promised that I would call your dad to school!
Student: And you will not fulfill your promise until I fulfill mine.
The teacher frowns: Let me then help you correct the grade. Go to the blackboard!
The student goes to the blackboard.
The teacher: Let's start simple. Mom bought four kilograms of sweets ...
The student does not listen to the end and runs to the door.
The teacher: Wait, where are you going ?!
Disciple, stopping near the threshold: Home! There are sweets!
The teacher: No, wait! Go back to the board. I'll give you another example!
The student sighs, returns and stands at the blackboard.
The teacher: Imagine you have four apples. How will you share them so that they are equally divided?
Student: And with whom to share?
The teacher looks at the class and points to another child: For example, with Petrov!
Student: Then three for me, and one for him!
The teacher surprised: Why is that?
Student: And he already owes me one apple!
The teacher laughs: Doesn't he owe you plums?
Student thinks: No, it shouldn't.
The teacher: Then imagine that you have four plums. How will you share them?
Student: I'll give everything to him!
The teacher shocked: Why ?!
Student: I don’t like plums!
The students laugh, the teacher shakes her head.
The teacher: Well, then sit down. You will see the correct answer in the magazine.
The actors get up from their seats, line up in a row to bow. The audience is applauding, and the guys are singing a funny song about mathematics!
Scene number 6 "Forest School" (grade 1)
The guys in the costume of animals go on stage. The Bunny and the Bear are slowly getting ready for school.
Bunny: Oh, how reluctant to learn!
Teddy bear carelessly puts textbooks in a briefcase, notebooks fall: Yes, not at all willing! I want to wallow in the grass, eat berries and delicious sweet honey (rubs my tummy).
Bunny: Let's pretend that we are going to school, and then we will run away into the forest. Mom won't know!
Teddy bear: Let's! I'll just take some soap bubbles with me!
The animals run away. The light above the stage comes on, a large classroom, desks and a wise raven in the role of a teacher. Students enter the class - a giraffe, a camel, a panda, a goat, a raccoon and a chanterelle. The guilty Bunny and Mishka are trailing behind.
Bunny: Your mom caught us after all. But only because you loudly sang the song "Antoshka, Antoshka, let's go dig potatoes ..."
bear: This is me for joy!
Teacher: Hello children! Sit down, let's start the lesson!
The animals sit quietly, only the Bunny and the Bear are busy at the back.
Teacher: Silence in the classroom! Today we will learn the numbers - 1,2,3,4,5!
bear: Bunny came out for a walk! (laughs)
Teacher: Pupil Toptygin, come out to the blackboard, we will study arithmetic!
The bear reluctantly goes out and treads water.
The teacher writes on the board - 1,2,3,4,5 and says: Now let's say all the numbers out loud!
The class connects and counts: One, two, three, four, five.
Mishka is ashamed that he does not know the numbers: Teacher, can I name all the numbers?
He takes a pointer, shows and calls everything correctly.
Teacher: Well done, Misha, now you can count to 5!
The animals clap and praise the clever Bear.
Teacher: Now let's learn to add! Who will go to the board?
The animals pull their paws, and the Bunny hides under the desk.
Teacher: The brave Bunny Runner will go to the board!
Hare, crawling out from under the desk, and embarrassed: But I do not know how to fold!
Teacher: Go to the blackboard, I'll teach you! Here's a problem, mom gave you 1 carrot and your friend Mishka 1 carrot. How many carrots do you have in total?
Bunny: Yes, my mother is kind, she treats everyone. If Mishka and I were given a carrot each, then only 2 carrots.
Teacher: That's right, you're done! Now you've learned how to add!
A joyful bunny jumps in place: Hurray! Hooray! It turns out that learning is so interesting!
Cheerful music sounds, the animals get up and sing a perky song about their favorite school.
Scene "Extraordinary Classroom Meeting"
Characters
Teacher.
Kolya and Tanya are pupils in a fight.
Their classmates.
Teacher b. Well, my dears, again we have an emergency of a great scale: Kolya and Tanya had a fight at recess, and I had to unhook them from each other, otherwise this fight would have ended tragically. How will we continue to live?
Student. And let's ask them this.
Teacher... Let's ask. (Pointing with a glance at Tanya and Kolya.) Please.
Tanya and Kolya come out, turning away from each other.
Student. Well poured cat and dog!
Tanya. You yourself are a cat ...
Kolya... Not a cat, but a cat ...
Student. They also call names!
Pupil... They just didn't have time to cool down. There's more steam coming!
Student... Maybe pour water on you?
Pupil... Or put it in the refrigerator?
Everyone laughs. Tanya and Kolya also begin to smile.
Teacher... Well, Kolya is already smiling, so he has come to his senses. Kolya, please evaluate your very act.
Kolya... What about me? Tanya was the first to start calling names!
Teacher... Let's admit. Well, who should have finished first? (Kolya lowers his head in silence.) Who, guys?
Students. The one who is smarter.
Teacher. An elementary truth ... But, apparently, there were no smart ones among you two, as well as educated ones, too, unfortunately.
Students... Don't worry, Lyudmila Vladimirovna, they will make up. This is not the first time.
Teacher... It is clear that not the first time. And when will it be the last one?
Students. They just have such characters.
Yes, as the scythe finds on the stone ...
Well, straight roosters!
Teacher... Still, I would like to hear something from them. Well, roosters, smile! Wider, wider!
Pupil. Tanya, show your teeth!
Teacher. You are neighbors, you go home from school together. And you behave somehow not like a neighbor. Not good. Well, will you tell us something in your defense?
Tanya. We will not tell. (Winking at Kolya.)
Kolya. We will not say in our own defense, but we will sing. You will only be the first to start, as always!
A song is performed to the tune "Do not tease the dogs, do not chase the cats" (music by E. Ptichkin).
Tatiana sings.
If a fight suddenly broke out in our class,
That is the instigator - I, the main bully.
Everybody scolds me, everybody gives advice
They will understand me in any way, they will not understand in any way -
It is useless!
If in our class
Everyone was obedient
Then believe me, Nikolai,
Then believe me, Nikolai,
It would become very boring!
Nikolay sings.
If Tatiana sticks out a long tongue,
Then, naturally, I, I will not be silent.
The squabble, friends, it's a shame to listen to this.
Shut up your ears as soon as possible!
Even though she is a girl
In general, not bad,
There is one drawback,
There is one drawback:
Very groovy.
They sing a duet.
Our leader keeps repeating to us:
It would be time to grow up, to take care of yourself,
But in our head all the whirlwinds are raging,
There is no forecast yet, whether they will soon subside.
We grow up - and then
We will become smarter
And over your stupidity,
And over your stupidity
Let's laugh ourselves!
Teacher. Only very good, kind people can laugh at themselves. I hope the conflict is over.
Scenario "Birthday"
Characters
Anton is a birthday boy, his classmates.
A group of children in caps, with clown noses, with gifts in their hands appears on the stage. They sing: "Happy birthday to you!" The hero of the occasion in a "star" costume (a cape covered with stars, a rim on his head, decorated in the center), all attention is riveted on him.
Children. And now we invite the hero of the occasion to the “magic chair”. (The birthday boy sits on a chair, the children surround him in a semicircle). Today Antoshka is our "star". So, we forgot all the bad things, we say only good things.
Children. Anton is smart, erudite. He reads a lot, and therefore it is never boring with him.
Birthday boy. I have five volumes of an encyclopedia at home. I read them all!
Children... Antoshka is the king of jokes. He knows a lot of anecdotes, jokes, it's always fun with him. He knows how to cheer up.
Birthday boy... By the way, guys, here's a new anecdote. The frog princess gallops through the swamp, and the arrow in the side is bitter. The oncoming frogs ask in horror: "Did they want to kill you, princess?" “You say the same,” the princess waves off and adds happily. "Vanyushka made this proposal to me!"
Children. Well, we say: you won't get bored with him!
Girl... Anton, you are generous and helpful. Guys, he will take off his last shirt and give it to a friend. Anton, will you take it off?
Birthday boy... What, right now? (Begins to unfasten buttons.)
Girl... What are you, what are you! I put it figuratively.
I like the way Anton treats the girls: he stands up for them, lets them go ahead, gives them outerwear. Like a knight! Anton, you are a real man!
Birthday boy... These are still flowers, berries are ahead.
One of the children... I liked, Anton, how you danced at the disco.
Birthday boy. Yes, I can do even better!
One of the children... Anton has great artistic opportunities! When he played in the scene of the Nightingale the Robber, all the audience choked with laughter. And when Kota Basilio played ... (Laughs.)
Birthday boy... I understand what you mean. (Shows the bow of Kota Basilio and how sciatica grabbed him.)
Children. Anton, you are so cute, you have such a cool hairstyle! And you yourself are so delicious as a gingerbread!
Birthday boy. Well, I'm certainly not Tom Cruise. Although we undoubtedly have something in common. (Grabs both cheeks with his hands.) Oh, guys, I seem to have a "star" disease!
Children. Isn't it contagious? How does it manifest itself?
Birthday boy... Dizziness.
Children... This is from compliments.
Birthday boy... Palpitations.
Children... This is from praise.
Birthday boy... It seems to me that I am growing, growing. (Stands on a chair.)
Children... Greatly "starred" him! Nothing, now we will start giving gifts - it will descend from heaven to earth. (In chorus.) Anton, ay!
The birthday boy comes to himself, sits on a chair.
Children line up and give gifts.
Children.
To look like a hairstyle
There should be a comb in your pocket.
Inflate this balloon
Just don't fly away yourself!
You will appreciate my modest gift later,
Watching a photo album with my grandchildren.
And now our joint musical gift.
The dance "Gypsy" is being performed. The birthday boy, unable to bear it, starts dancing.
Children... Now let's get down to the main point. Gifts have been handed over - we will pull the birthday man by the ears! (They surround him.)
Birthday boy. A-a-a-a-a-a-a! (He runs away, everyone runs after him.)
Scene "On the meaning of the mode"
Characters
Lesha, Lenya, Andrey - students, their classmates.
The bell for the lesson rings. Children are standing near their desks. The teacher enters.
Teacher... Hello! Sit down. Today in the lesson we will talk about the meaning of the regime. Regime is a clear daily routine. Correct implementation of the regime, the alternation of work and rest improve working capacity, teach accuracy, discipline a person, and strengthen his health.
Guys, do you all do the regime moments?
Children. Yes!
Lyosha. And I even overfulfill!
Teacher. Come on, come on, tell me ...
Lyosha... Well, for example, according to the regimen, you need to eat four times a day, and I take eight. Or: walking in the fresh air is supposed to be three hours, and I walk six.
Teacher... You are with us, Lesha, a big joker. I hope this is your next joke. Otherwise, in this situation, a big lazy person can grow out of you.
Lyosha. I was joking, Elena Andreevna!
Teacher... Morning exercises, washing, rubbing with a wet towel help you get out of sleep, invigorate. Those who are used to the regime even wake up without an alarm clock and are never late for school. Late is the one who does not go to bed at the same time. (Andrey yawns, apologizes.) If a out of breath student rushes into the classroom after the call ...
There is a crash outside the door, Lyonya rushes into the classroom.
Lyonya. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. We see this. Explain to us, Lyonya, why are you always late? For example, just this week you were late on Tuesday, Thursday and today.
Lyonya.
Brought the bed on Tuesday -
I could not wake up in time.
The day before yesterday I forgot my portfolio
It had a banana in it -
I had to go back.
I figured out my mistakes
Today I wanted to come on time,
But overclocked too much
And flew past the school.
V. Leikin
Teacher... Sit down, you are our grief. I advise you to work on your daily routine.
Andrey yawns loudly, apologizes.
Teacher... Let's continue the lesson. Now I will introduce you to auto-training. It is necessary in order to rest, switch from one thought to another, and relax. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, try to imagine what I am talking about.
"Morning. I open my eyes, stretch. The gentle rays of the spring sun make their way into my room. I get up, go to the window, pull the curtains. A fabulous picture appears before me: the clear sky turns blue, tender young greenery pleases the eye. I feel the warmth of spring spreading all over my body. The soul is calm and joyful, calm and joyful. Spring, spring flows into my body. "
Open your eyes.
Andrey(does not wake up, snores, screams in a dream). Don't, please don't! Don't hit me anymore! I give up!
He is pushed by a neighbor on the desk, he wakes up.
Andrey(coming to his senses). Yesterday I went to bed at three in the morning. Boxing was shown on TV - a duel between Valuev and Klitschko.
Teacher. Here is a good example of non-compliance with the daily routine. (Call.) Maybe the call will wake you up completely. Get some rest.
Scene "Change"
Characters
5 pairs of classmates.
Children form a circle of couples talking to each other, which gradually rotates.
1st pair.
- "I am running", "we are running",
"You are running" and "you are running."
You are the verb tense to me,
Brothers, tell me!
Verb tenses i
Learned fragilely.
But what is this - a change -
Absolutely!
2nd pair.
In the classroom, boys
We just have angels
But at recess -
Not boys, but special forces!
That's for sure. How will they converge -
Sparks are streaming from the eyes.
We need a fire extinguisher
So that the class does not light up!
3rd pair.
- Hedgehog, hedgehog, hedgehog, hedgehogs ...
You don't know the cases!
You seem to know:
"Kino" with "coat" you incline!
4th pair.
My buddy is a prodigy:
Chinese studies,
Goes to football and dances,
He composes poetry!
I can't dance
And I don't write poetry,
Airplanes do not glue,
I don't follow football.
I can't sing in bass
And I don't sculpt from clay,
One of the class -
5th pair.
All day I was drilled with doubt:
Why, eccentric, did I teach this rule?
Why did I figure out this rule?
They didn't give me a five anyway.
Well, why do you need a "five"?
You are truly a weirdo.
For example, my grade is
Such a strong "triple".
About Wise Elena
I'll tell you, brother.
Tell. Listen to a fairy tale
I would be very glad.
She was Beautiful:
Smile - the sun is clear
Scythe - ripe wheat,
And the handle is snow-white.
But the girl decided
The wisdom to learn:
And day and night at the party
Korpel over science ...
And she became a hunchback,
Crooked, myopic.
Faded beauty
The name of the Wise is now:
She warms her cheeks with beets
And he smears the nose with powder ...
I became skinny like a stick
Her forehead wrinkled from reading ...
And she said gloomily:
What a fool I am!
The bell for the lesson rings.
Note... The scene uses verses by the following authors:
S. Vostokov. “I don’t know how to dance ...”.
V. Leikin. "The whole day I was drilled with doubt ...".
A. Usachev. "She was Beautiful ..." ("About Helen the Wise, the former Beautiful").
