Powerful ways to increase self-confidence. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence Ways to increase self-confidence

Now in individual coaching I have a Client whose main request is how to increase self-confidence. Every day there are fears, doubts, insecurities. There is a constant stream of thoughts in my head: “I can’t”, “I won’t succeed”, “everything will not go the way I planned.”

When I was at the last “Breakthrough to Success” by Nikolai Latansky in Moscow, there was an exercise in which participants are divided into two groups, some close their eyes and stand silently, while others walk around the hall and whisper words that they themselves expect from their loved ones. And interestingly, all the words from all the participants were about the same topic: you will succeed, you can do it, be bolder, act and you will win. That is, words that add confidence in yourself and in your actions.

I realized that this topic - self-confidence - is very much in demand. I began to remember my life stages and, naturally, found many situations where I doubted, lost faith and was not sure of my actions.

How to increase self-confidence? What helped me cope with doubts and increase confidence in myself?

I remember three main simple ways who really helped and help.

1. How to Boost Your Confidence with a Regular Smile

As soon as I start smiling, I immediately become bolder and more confident in myself. Just like that, for no reason. I am often asked why I smile. I answer: life is beautiful, the mood is excellent! And after these words it becomes even better.

And I often imagine myself as a person with whom everything is okay: a friendly family, interesting job, high incomes. The back immediately straightens, the gait becomes flying, the smile pulls the cheeks. And I immediately begin to feel like such a person - self-confident and worthy of all the best. And in last years I don’t even need to imagine - I just remember what I have and my confidence immediately grows.

2. How to increase self-confidence with a regular walk

I have a friend - Tatyana Olegovna Kutuzova, a talented and successful choreographer. She is a very respected and confident woman. And she has a distinctive feature - she walks fast. Flies! Don't chase after her! The chin is up, the shoulders are in expansion, the hips are elastically swinging in time with the steps. Tsok-tsok, tsok-tsok!

I tried to repeat. Indeed, the effect is amazing! As soon as you stretch the top of your head and add speed while walking, you immediately feel a surge of confidence. Straightaway! Instantly! And vice versa, when you barely trudge, your shoulders immediately sag, some kind of fatigue rolls in and some unpleasant thoughts immediately come.

3. How to Boost Your Confidence with Common Words

I have long noticed the power of compliments. Back in school, in 11th grade, I read a book by Dale Carnegie in which he talks about the amazing power of compliments. When I celebrate a new hairstyle with a girl I know, I do something nice for both her and myself. And then the self-esteem and self-confidence of both mine and this girl rises. For this reason, when I meet a person, I made it a habit not only to greet him, but also to immediately note something good and attractive in him aloud.

The same applies if a compliment is said to me. I accept it! With pleasure! After all, if I say something like: “no thanks”, “come on, nothing special”, then I belittle my dignity, as if saying that I am not worthy of praise. That is, if I do not accept a compliment, I devalue myself!

Thanks to Anna Averyanova for helping me understand the importance of accepting and appreciating compliments in an individual coaching session about a year ago.

So let's sum it up. Absolutely every person, starting a new business, embarking on a previously unknown path, experiences doubts and uncertainty. It `s naturally. But you can deal with it!

Smile more often.

Walk with a straight back, quick flying gait.

Compliment and receive compliments.

And almost immediately you will feel how your body and mind are filled with new strength and confidence!

If you want to increase your self-confidence, take action and achieve qualitatively new results, then start small - take the 2 minute quiz, which is located in the upper right corner of this page .

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Without confidence, it is impossible to succeed in any area from career to personal life. These 10 techniques will help you become more calm and deal with insecurities.

You will definitely have to leave your comfort zone and go in search of good luck if you have not decided to waste your life. The more self-confident, the more successful your position and affairs.

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed in any area of life, because it consists entirely of situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and managing people, are better for you, the more confident you are. These 10 tricks will help you deal with insecurity.

How to increase self-confidence

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

For personal use only, make a list of your strengths and what you do really well. Be honest with yourself and avoid false modesty. It is not necessary to look for and write down outstanding qualities in yourself, these are enough: I keep my desktop in order, I finish what I started, a good memory, and so on. Review this list every week and add new items if possible. There are no ideal people. We all make mistakes. And not always they occur solely through our fault.

2. Watch your health

If you are in good shape, you can achieve a lot. Regular physical exercise, which you enjoy doing, develops strength, perseverance and increases stress resistance. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Breaks for rest, time for relaxation and time for yourself should become as integral a part of your daily routine as, for example, brushing your teeth. Enjoy the fact that you look good and try to take everything from life. People around you will treat you with interest and respect.

3. Stay calm and try to alleviate stress

Avoid hustle and bustle. Develop stress resistance. Simple relaxation and stress management techniques will soothe your body and mind and become your lifeline. Find time for relaxation every day - at least five minutes. Practice mindfulness for at least a minute every day. Those few minutes will bring a big return.

4. Remember your rights

Remember that you, like any person, have rights that must be respected at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5. Be assertive (but not aggressive!)

Be respectful of yourself and other people, learn to compromise and say “no” when necessary. In a conflict situation, be prepared to negotiate and compromise. When possible, strive to ensure that all parties are satisfied with the outcome.

6. Plan

Plan, prioritize and be organized - you need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

7. Body language

Move and speak confidently, and you will not only look like it, but actually feel like it. Raise your head, relax your shoulders and body, and make eye contact with the other person. Show calmness and confidence when you open the door and enter the room. An open posture, a firm handshake, a calm voice will show the interlocutor that you are glad to see him and communicate with him. Your speech should be clear, rhythmic, and infect with enthusiasm. Show your sincere interest and you can show yourself as a charismatic speaker!

8. Write down your plans and goals

Use your personal diary for this. It should be convenient and efficient.

9. Visualize

Imagine situations in which you would like to feel more confident in as much detail as possible. Think through the possible development of events step by step and try to successfully cope with all the difficulties.

10. Regularly review your progress

What have you been able to achieve? What didn't go so smoothly? Decide what you plan to do next. Be flexible and willing to change. Move forward towards your goal.

You will succeed!

Based on the book "Self-Confidence"

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed, because business is all about situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and managing people, are better for you, the more confident you are.

Here are 7 tricks to boost your self-confidence.

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you are really good at. Be honest with yourself and avoid false modesty. It is not necessary to look for and write down outstanding qualities in yourself, these are enough: I keep my desktop in order, I finish what I started, a good memory, and so on. Review this list every week and add new items if possible. There are no ideal people. We all make mistakes. And not always they occur solely through our fault.

2. Watch your health.

3. Keep calm and try to alleviate stress.

4. Remember that you, like everyone else, have rights.,

which must be followed at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5. Plan, prioritize and stay organized

You need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

6. Body language.

7. Visualize.

Imagine that you are chewing on a slice of lemon... Your mouth must have filled with saliva. So? The thing is that the human brain is not very good at distinguishing between what is happening in the imagination and in the real world. That is why one of the simplest and most effective ways to strengthen willpower is visualization.

All you have to do is imagine a situation in which you want to feel more confident. Try to get a detailed image, then for a few minutes, work through the situation in your mind step by step, coping with any difficulties that you think may arise. The task may sound strange, but it is easy to complete, and the technique works.

You will succeed!

Learn more about how to develop self-confidence and self-esteem in the book

Any person, even if he has professional skills, needs confidence. It is determined by subjective self-esteem, beliefs, psycho emotional condition, inner mood. Self-confident people can articulate their thoughts clearly and be a good conversationalist.

But sometimes we cannot adequately assess our skills, doubting ourselves. You need to be confident in different aspects of your life - in your endeavors, in your talents, in your skills, in your ability to communicate. This article will give tips to eliminate self-doubt, develop confidence in communication and in your qualities.

Do not try to get rid of doubts. Any person who starts something new has to struggle with doubts. Will he succeed? Will his labor be in vain? It is worth recalling the phrase of Hesse, who said that faith and doubt are inextricably linked with each other, causing one to one. This means that uncertainty is a natural thing that is bound to be at the beginning of any project. And do not try to run away from this, there is nothing wrong with doubts. So you should not allow them, but just go about your business, not listening to interfering inner voices. Doubt is an emotion that is not connected to reality. If you make every effort, then indecision will dissipate.

Know the moments when faith goes away. It is worth highlighting situations when doubts torment. It could be moments of falling asleep. Then you can already get used to it and treat it condescendingly. And if you can’t completely ignore the inner voice, you can always make an allowance for the emotional state that is usual for such a situation. If there is a certain pattern, then the price of such doubts will decrease. And, on the contrary, it is necessary to catch moments of self-confidence, focusing on them. In such a state, it is worth thinking about a subject that is in doubt. On a wave of vivacity and strength, it will be easier to decide on something.

Know your strengths. At the moment of frustration, just one careless comment from the outside can damage confidence in the action being taken. Unfortunately, people overestimate the significance of the current moment, immediately transferring it to the global perception of life. The realization that they are not capable of anything leads to the thought that this has always been the case. Both previous successes and strengths are forgotten. At such moments, you should not give in to the mood, but you should try to really evaluate yourself. There is a lot of what a person can do and what he has already achieved. Facts will help to return an adequate view of reality. And it is on them that you should rely, and not on momentary emotions and doubts.

Do not listen to those who talk about the hopelessness of the case. When there is doubt about the success of a business, one always wants to consult with family and friends. Where else can you find support? But it happens that, on the contrary, they warn of the hopelessness of the event. Some people just think about their psychological comfort, and not about the personal happiness of another. But are there really so few insecure people? And are there only winners around? Many are simply afraid to go on an independent voyage, they believe that others, for the same reason, are unable to succeed. These people are waiting for your failure, because luck will be their reproach. Can an employee give good advice about starting your own business? That is why it is worth taking advice not from everyone in a row, but from those who have really achieved success in the right area. It is from them that one should take an example.

In moments of doubt, imagine yourself perfect. Our insecurities sometimes try to present themselves as common sense. We believe that we are incapable of some act for some objective reason. So, a guy is afraid to meet a girl, considering himself ugly, stupid, knowing that she already has someone. In fact, all these are traits of insecurity. You need to form an image of your ideal self in your head. He is not afraid of anything and is always confident in himself. How would our ideal clone act in a critical situation? Would he back down? But you should not rush headlong to repeat all the actions after him, we are not ideal. You just need to realize that we differ only in fears and doubts, and it is they that do not allow us to act. Then the problem will immediately cease to be as complicated as it seemed. And now it will be much easier to decide on the action.

Remember that everything depends only on ourselves. In moments when you are tormented by doubts, you need to understand that everything depends only on you. It is we who determine the success of the business. If you show diligence, then everything will certainly work out. And if not, then no one bothers to try again. Each of us is free to manifest our innate qualities, which will help us get what we want from life. More depends on our will than we usually think. And we must stop seeing obstacles everywhere. The road will be mastered by the walking one!

Drop the paranoia. Sometimes it seems that everyone around us is closely watching us, noticing flaws, mistakes, memorizing words. In fact, everyone is obsessed with their own problems. People think about themselves, even pretending to listen to others. That is why paranoia is unnecessary. Do not be afraid to communicate or speak in public. And we are clearly not in the center of the universe, so that everyone only thinks about us.

Listen to others. If we learn to focus our attention on someone other than ourselves, then our mind will not have time to be tormented by doubts. Why not listen to outsiders instead of worrying only about yourself? So it will be possible not only to distract from your fears, but also to look more closely at others, noticing something new in them.

Get rid of perfectionism. It is important to understand that no one is perfect, including us. And it's worth accepting. Based on this, it is worth stopping painfully reacting to your failures. And yet they are trying to undermine self-confidence. So, understanding your wrong step or words, you just need to draw conclusions from this and not repeat mistakes in the future. It will be much more productive than reproaching yourself for mistakes.

Don't be afraid of people. We are surrounded by people, each of which has its own weaknesses and shortcomings. They can, however, appear extremely self-confident. We should not assume that there are only professionals around us. Rather, on the contrary, there are much more insecure and self-doubting people. They just hide it better. And there is no need to be afraid of people, especially if they cannot harm us. Our bosses, colleagues, women and men are just like us.

You don't have to look better than you are. In trying to convince others that we are the smartest and the best, it is important not to overdo it. After all, this will be the best evidence of self-doubt. When we do not feel our strength, we try to convince others of their presence. So ostentatious boasting, vanity, assertiveness in communication can tell about internal doubts and insecurities. That is why you should not try to look better than you really are. To start persuasion is with yourself. And for other people, we must seem exactly who we are.

Don't be overly modest. In moderation, modesty adorns people. And if you can’t seem better than you are, then you shouldn’t underestimate your capabilities either. If you are asked about your strengths in an interview, why not confidently talk about them? If a person boldly speaks about his best qualities This is a testament to his self-confidence. This is noted from the outside, flowing into confidence in the person himself. Since we have no doubts when talking about merits, it means that there is no reason to look for flaws. If our qualities are appreciated by others, then we should not be embarrassed by receiving compliments. After all, we really deserve it. I just need to thank you for your kind words.

Demonstrate self-confidence. And although we have already talked about how important it is to be yourself, in some situations it is worth feigning confidence when feeling its lack. First of all, it's just beneficial, it creates a positive image. Self-confident people are more loved and trusted. And even with the illusion of such a feeling, part of it nevertheless passes to us. Often our insecurity is an emotion that interferes with the manifestation of real qualities. But you can not go on about the feelings, but take them under control.

Maintain kindness. It is easy to smile more, to be interested in the problems of others and to cheer them up. This will help win over interlocutors. And when they are predisposed to you, then it will be easier to maintain confidence in yourself.

Be sincere. It is important to be open about your views and share your thoughts. This will help you not to withdraw into yourself. But at the same time, it is worth assessing the situation, will such an approach not violate the comfort of other people? Being insecure, we constantly do not speak out, keeping something inside. But this does not help to gain confidence, but only takes it away. Self-development makes us open, for close people we should always be sincere. You can safely talk about your views, and if they are erroneous, then why not change them under the influence of reasonable criticism and arguments? It's so interesting - to discuss various topics, to expand your horizons. Speaking your thoughts out loud and presenting them to the judgment of others, you have to cast aside all doubts. This fosters self-confidence, because we put ourselves to the test of criticism and someone else's point of view. Such factors strengthen faith. And you should not expect the first step from someone, sometimes you can take it yourself, if the circumstances favor it. Sincere dialogue will sweep away all barriers. And if we are frank with a person, then he will answer us the same. And when we realize that we have been opened, it will give confidence.

Attention to external data. Do not forget that they are greeted by clothes. But the mind, charisma and charm are also important, playing an even greater role.

Can't be shy. You need to learn to speak clearly, while looking into the eyes of the interlocutors and not waving your arms. Do not wrinkle your fingers, pick your lips, pull sounds. It is worth learning to take care of yourself and your body, hone your communication skills. Sooner or later, there will be no trace of timidity. Then the thoughts that prevent you from deciding on something important will disappear from your head. With them, internal barriers will also melt.

Help people. In the case of assistance, it will not go unnoticed. Our experience, skills and knowledge will be valued. And then they will certainly answer us, if not with support, then with gratitude, believing in us. This is a good foundation for gaining confidence.

Do not look for the problem only in yourself. Yes, often you need to be able to take responsibility for yourself, and not shift it to others. But this rule requires care. Sometimes we are not understood and not supported, but not through our fault. Others may be to blame. Someone, in principle, is not capable of understanding and is not ready to make contact, others with laughter perceive all other people's ideas, asserting themselves. And someone is embittered at the whole world, criticizing everyone and everything. It is worth accepting this and stop blaming ourselves for what happens through no fault of ours.

Think about what's next? Have you made a bad impression? So what? What will be next? Is it so important what people think about you whom you see for the first time and with whom, most likely, you will not have contacts? Are there any fears that a girl will refuse to go on a date? If this happens, then life will not stop. So why be afraid of it? Do you have fear of your boss? But what can he do, because this is the same person with his own burden of responsibility. Children in the garden are also afraid of their teachers, you should not imitate them. In our life there are many reasons for fear - interviews, talking about salary. Let people think what they want, we have our own goals. Some fear must not stand in our way. If we ask ourselves the question "what's next" every time we are frightened and doubtful, then we will understand that many situations do not deserve to worry about them. Some people are quite harmless, so why be embarrassed because of your fears?

Stick to your opinion. There are things about which it is necessary to maintain an unshakable position and firm views. And here it is impossible to rush to agree with everyone. It's not about blind stubbornness. An aggressive, assertive defense of one's judgments will also be a mistake. This suggests that there is a certain deliberate position that a random opinion cannot shake. Words and actions must be based on such principles. And that confidence will help you do your business.

Learn from life itself. It's not hard to find a few seminars and courses that will help build your confidence. But why pay if reality itself gives many reasons to develop such qualities in oneself? We will be taught to behave on the example of artificial situations. Confidence is necessary for life, so it is worth learning from it. To do this, you need to communicate more, get to know interesting people. The advice received should be put into practice, observing yourself and realizing at what moments uncertainty manifests itself. Then you should think about why this is happening and what to do about it next. Going to interviews will be a good lesson, they will become free business communication classes.

Develop yourself. It is difficult to believe in your qualities if they are poorly developed. In order to be aware of one's own forces, one must have them really present. An important part of confidence is self-perception and emotional attitude. But this alone is not enough. An increase in faith must certainly go along with self-development, then something will appear in a person on which the awareness of possibilities will be based. For this, it is necessary to improve our personal qualities. Reading specialized blogs, fiction and educational literature will help develop willpower and self-control. It is worth thinking about improving professional skills, realizing your ultimate goal and follow her. It is always worth striving to find something new in this world and learn. And with the acquisition of new skills, self-confidence will also increase. How can you doubt something that has been given so much time and that it turns out better than others?

Accept your shortcomings. In addition to knowing your strengths, you should not forget about your shortcomings. And this is important, because a calm and thoughtful attitude will help you understand what needs to be worked on. And you should not focus on this, on the fact that you can’t do anything. Why not think about what you still know how, but there are some drawbacks. This will highlight qualities that can be improved, some may turn out to be unnecessary, and nothing can be done about something at all. But that's okay - you can't be perfect. You can simply make a list of what is bad in life, and then think about all the points. And these shortcomings are not a given and a constant, but something that can be worked on. With effort, everything can change. If you believe that all qualities can be developed (and this is true) and strive for this, then you can avoid life situations in which uncertainty will manifest itself. Those who have difficulty communicating can be advised to talk more with people. If there is a fear of public speaking, there is only one way to learn it. We must not be afraid, but move forward.

Do not wait for the arrival of confidence, but begin to act. This tip is both last and most important. There is no need to wait for the moment until fear and uncertainty leave the soul. So you can spend your whole life without starting to do anything. It must be understood that fears will not go away, they, as already mentioned, accompany any business. And you can’t become self-confident until you start to step over complexes and tightness. Contrary to them, you need to deal with anxiety. And our goal is not to get rid of fear, but to control it. And the stronger it is, the easier it will ultimately be. Don't wait until it gets easy. Life will temper us and make our character really strong.

As you can see, there are many variations on how “bad communities ruin good habits.” There is only one way out - to reduce, and often simply to zero, communication with such people. They pull into the swamp, and our scenario is to get out of it.

However, it is not good to be alone. Therefore, the social circle of a person must be, but correct. You need to surround yourself with people who will praise, support, believe, and say at the right time that everything will work out. And this is very important. The support of loved ones and the desire to justify their expectation serves.

Don't exaggerate your mistakes

Each person has their weaknesses, but there are also their strengths. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand both your strengths and weaknesses. Then a person will know what is good in him, and for what he needs to be respected by other people and himself.

But there is no need to be too critical of yourself, and say that "I have only one flaw." They were just looking for merit. If you don’t see it yourself, then ask people who value and respect you. And then don't argue with their opinion.

It is also important to remember that only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. All other people make mistakes from time to time, and there is no need to exaggerate or overdramatize them. We learn from mistakes, and for one beaten they give two unbeaten.

It's about gaining valuable life experience. It is like a brick that lies at our feet. We can stand on it and be higher, or we can stumble and then we will lie on the floor. Learn from your mistakes, draw conclusions, do not repeat them, and you will respect yourself more.