Body language. What you need to know about body language and gestures James Borg "Body Language"

We noticed that the "spire" often occurs in the communication of the boss and subordinates.

This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. The “spire” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and senior managers. Such a gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

Sometimes the "spire" develops into a prayer gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. Often this gesture is perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency.

President Chirac and Jerry Adams sometimes like to impersonate the Lord God himself

Using the Spire to Win Chess

Dropped spire

Women more often choose the second option of such a gesture. If the raised "spire" is accompanied by tilting the head back, you are dealing with a self-satisfied, arrogant person.

Although the “spire” is generally a positive signal, its meaning can be different in different situations.

If the “spire” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you tell the interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the "spire" is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking away and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is sure that he will be able to refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other it is negative. The result is influenced by gestures around the "spire".

face demonstration

Demonstration of the face. This woman presents her face in the best possible way so that men can admire her

Hands folded behind the back

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. Our experience shows that by adopting a similar posture in stressful situation, such as during an interview or in the dentist's waiting room, you will immediately feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front view

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person grabs his wrist with one hand with the other, as shown in the picture: (here are 2 pictures, which are a little lower).

This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly wraps around the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the capture, the more dissatisfied or annoyed your interlocutor is. The man in the picture below on the right is struggling to contain himself. His mood is much more negative than that of the one depicted in the same picture on the left.

Grasp the wrist behind the back Grasp the arm above the elbow

Wrapping the arm behind the back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents face off. This is how patients stand waiting for the doctor. This gesture betrays an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this posture is also characteristic of you, try to change it to a palm-to-palm gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Show thumbs up

Thumb gestures are secondary and usually go in a chain. Showing the thumbs is a positive signal that is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize their own superiority. Men often use these gestures in the presence of attractive women. Such a posture is characteristic of people occupying a high position and well dressed. You are unlikely to see a bum in a similar position.

In this position, people often sway on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs in pockets

Pay attention to the position of the interlocutor's thumbs, as they can give out a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, speaking before a jury, says in a soft, low voice: “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen...”, but at the same time he gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose”.

The jury will immediately feel the insincerity and arrogance of the lawyer. If he really wanted to appear humble, he would have to approach the jury with his coat open, palms open, and leaning forward to appear shorter.

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or derision, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with buddies might point his thumb at his wife and say, "She's always nagging at me, asking for a fight." Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only in relation to people they actively dislike.

Showing thumbs is a sign of confidence and authority

“She always saws me!”

Summary

For thousands of years, thumbs have symbolized power and authority. IN Ancient Rome thumb decided the fate of the gladiator. Raised, he gave life to a person, lowered - doomed him to death. Even an inexperienced person intuitively feels the meaning of thumb signals and understands their meaning. Now you can not only correctly decipher such gestures, but also use them to your advantage.

"Body Language" was first published on English language in 1981. “Read any person like a book”, choose the right line of conduct, feel confident and at ease in any environment, make the most correct decisions - all this is available to everyone. The book will help you become aware of your own non-verbal signals, teach you how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated!

Allan Pease. Body language. - Nizhny Novgorod: IQ Publishing House, 1992. - 272 p.

Download abstract ( summary) in the format or

Chapter I. General understanding of body language

Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language, and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says. When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues.

Some gestures are innate, others are acquired, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry. However, in general, the non-verbal language of one nation is different from the non-verbal language of another nation.

One of the biggest mistakes newcomers to learning body language can make is trying to single out one gesture and treat it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or telling a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation we must take into account the whole complex of accompanying gestures.

Research proves that non-verbal cues carry 5 times more information than verbal, and in case the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.

A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career, may use the richness of his vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will more often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.

When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to hold back the words of deceit, but in last moment the hand avoids the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 1).

Rice. 1. Gesture of a deceiving adult

The most typical question is "Is it possible to fake in your own body language?" The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, bodily signals, and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, the microsignals of his body will give away his secret thoughts. These may be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a curvature of the corner of the mouth.

Chapter II. Zones and territories

The dimensions of a person's personal spatial zone are socially and nationally determined. While members of one nation, such as the Japanese, are accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance. The personal spatial territory of a person can be divided into 4 zones (Fig. 2). If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, follow Golden Rule: "Keep distance".

Rice. 2. Spatial zones of a person

The crowding of people at concerts, in cinema halls, on escalators, in transport, in elevators leads to the inevitable invasion of people into each other's intimate zones. There are a number of unwritten rules for the behavior of a Westerner in crowded conditions:

• Don't talk to anyone, not even people you know.
• Don't stare at others.
• The face must be completely impartial.
• If you have a book or newspapers in your hands, you should be completely immersed in reading.
• The closer in transport, the more restrained your movements should be.

With this in mind, it's easy to see why areas with higher population densities have higher crime rates.

Moving into the intimate territory of a person of the opposite sex is a way of expressing his interest in this person and is called flirting. However, in the Japanese and many European nations, the intimate zone is only 23-25 ​​cm. Ignorance of the cultural differences in the intimate zones of different people can easily lead to misunderstandings and misjudgments about the behavior and culture of others.

Chapter III. Palms

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and gullibility. When a person begins to be frank, he usually opens his palms in full or in part to the interlocutor. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up, palm down, and pointing finger (Figure 3), and their corresponding three types of handshake (Figure 4).

Rice. 3. Palm position: (a) trusting, (b) dominant, (c) aggressive

Rice. 4. Handshakes (for a shirt with a dark cuff): (a) the master of the situation, (b) yielding the initiative, (c) an equal handshake

Chapter IV. Hand and hand gestures

By rubbing their palms, people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and a person’s desire to hide their negative attitude (Fig. 5).

Rice. 5. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment.

Laying hands behind the back is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. Exposing the thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person (Fig. 6).

Rice. 6. Thumbs up indicates authority.

chapter V

What gestures can betray a person if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face (Fig. 7). To disguise the hand-guarding mouth gesture, some people try to fake a cough. The nose touch is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. Men also rub their eyelids, and if the lie is very serious, they turn their eyes away, usually to the floor. Women very delicately do this movement, swiping a finger under the eye. Scratching and rubbing the ear indicates the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words.

Rice. 7. Covering your mouth with your hand may indicate the speaker is lying.

Chapter VI. Hands as barriers

By placing one or both hands on our chest, we form a barrier. This is a clear signal that the person feels threatened or threatened. When the listener crosses his arms over his chest, he not only develops a negative attitude towards the speaker, but he also pays less attention to what he hears. If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one hand is placed across the body, taking the other hand at the elbow.

Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands (Fig. 8). This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.

Rice. 8. Disguised protective gesture

Chapter VII. Protective barrier formed with legs

Like protective barriers formed with the help of the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a negative or defensive attitude of a person. Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area.

When the crossed leg is also accompanied by the crossing of arms over the chest (Fig. 9), this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even try to ask a buyer in this position about his decision, and you should ask a few follow-up questions to clarify his objections. This position is very popular with women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with a husband or friend.

Rice. 9. A woman expresses her displeasure

As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey an unwritten law, according to which the protective posture changes to an open, relaxed one.

Chapter VIII. Other notable gestures and movements

Most chair-riders are dominant types who try to control and dominate people if they get bored with the topic of conversation, and the back of the chair serves as a good defense against any attack from others (Fig. 10). The easiest way to disarm the rider is to stand or sit behind him, from which he will feel the vulnerability of the rear in the event of an attack and change his position, becoming less aggressive.

Rice. 10. Aggressive posture

If a lover of riding a chair comes to you and his aggressive manner annoys you, try to transfer him to a stable chair with armrests that will prevent him from getting into his favorite position.

When a person does not agree with the opinion or attitude of other people, but does not dare to express his point of view, he makes gestures that are called repression gestures, i.e. they appear as a result of restraining one's opinion. Picking up, plucking non-existent villi from clothes is one of these gestures.

There are three main head positions. The straight position of the head is characteristic of a person who is neutral about what he hears. When the head tilts to the side, this indicates that the person has awakened interest (Fig. 11). Charles Darwin was one of the first to notice that people, like animals, tilt their heads to the side when they become interested in something. Women use this head position to show their interest in an attractive man. If the head is tilted down, this indicates that the person's attitude is negative, and even judgmental.

Rice. 11. Interested head position

Laying hands behind the head is typical for people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also characteristic of "know-it-alls", and many people get annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them (Fig. 12).

Rice. 12. “Maybe someday you will be as successful as me.”

Chapter IX. Eye signals

In Expressive Eyes, Hess says that the eyes transmit the most accurate and open signals of all human communication signals, because the pupils behave completely independently. When a person is excited, his pupils dilate four times against the normal state. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, resulting in the so-called "beady eyes" or "snake" eyes.

When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor (Fig. 13a). By directing your gaze to this triangle, you create a serious atmosphere, and the other person feels that you are in tune. businesslike. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the eyes of the other person, you will be able to control the course of negotiations with your gaze. An intimate gaze passes through the line of the eyes and descends below the chin to other parts of the interlocutor's body (Fig. 13b). With close communication, this triangle descends from the eyes to the chest, and with distant communication, from the eyes to the perineum. Men and women, with the help of this look, show their interest in a person, and if he is also interested, then he will respond with the same look.

Rice. 13. Where to look: (a) business, (b) intimate

Chapter XI. Cigarettes, cigars, pipes and glasses

A positive, self-confident, and self-satisfied person will blow smoke upward almost constantly; conversely, a negative person, with secretive or suspicious thoughts, will almost always direct the jet downward. If good cards came to the smoking player during the distribution of cards, he will probably shoot up, and if bad cards came, he will shoot them down.

Looking over glasses indicates a critical judgmental attitude towards a person.

Chapter XII. Gestures of proprietary and territorial claims

People lean against objects or each other in order to state their territorial claims to this object or person. For example, if you want to photograph your friend in front of his new car, boat, house or some other property, you will definitely see how he leans on - his newly acquired property, puts his foot or puts his hand on it (Fig. 14 ). When he touches his property, it becomes an extension of his body, and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers constantly hold hands or hug in public.

Rice. 14. A gesture expressing a sense of pride in one's property

Chapter XIII. mirroring

When you attend any official reception, evening or party, pay attention that some people communicating with each other sit or stand in the same position and repeat each other's gestures. This "mirroring" is the means by which one person communicates to another that he agrees with his opinions and views (for more on mirror neurons in the brain, see,).

Chapter XIV. Bowing, slouching, their dependence on social status

Since ancient times, the desire to reduce one's height in front of others has been used as a means of establishing relationships of subordination. We address members of the Royal Dynasty as "Your Highness" and those who commit obscene acts are referred to as "low".

By deliberately shrinking one's figure, one can consciously avoid displeasure from others. Let's say you were speeding and the police stopped you. Since the official position of the policeman is significantly higher than yours, try to act in this way:

• Immediately get out of your car (your territory) and go to the police car (his territory). In this case, he does not have to leave his territory.
• Try to bend down enough to look shorter than him.
• To belittle your personality, say how stupid and irresponsible you acted, and to elevate him, thank him for pointing out your mistake to you. Tell him that you appreciate his hard work, especially when he has to deal with fools like you.
• Stretch out both hands to him, palms up, in a pleading voice, ask him not to issue a fine.

Chapter XV. Influencing others with the help of various positions of the body

The turn of the body and the direction of the toe of the foot indicates the direction of the person's thoughts. From them you can determine where he would like to go. On fig. 15 shows two people talking as they walk through the door: the man on the left is trying to keep the other person's attention, but the other person wants to continue in the direction his body is pointing, although his head is turned and indicates his interest. But only when the person on the right turns his body to the other, a conversation of mutually interested people can take place.

Rice. 15. By turning the body, it is clear what a person wants to do, and where he wants to go

The angle at which people stand in relation to each other also provides information about their relationship. For example, people in most English-speaking countries stand at a 90-degree angle during a conversation (Figure 16). This posture is a non-verbal invitation to a third person to join them, standing in the place of this third point.

Rice. 16. Open triangular position

When it is required to establish a relationship of ownership or intimacy, the angle between the bodies decreases to zero degrees (Fig. 17).

Rice. 17. Closed position. The body of the body is turned towards the person you are interested in

The legs most often indicate the direction a person would like to go, but they also indicate a person who is attractive and interesting to you.

Chapter XVI. Different types of tables and ways of placing participants at the table

The strategic location of "forces" and the correct distribution of participants at the table is a means of their effective interaction. Different shades of people's attitude towards you can be expressed through the place they occupy at the table relative to you. For example, face B can take four basic positions relative to face A (Fig. 18).

• B1: Corner arrangement; characteristic of people engaged in friendly, casual conversation; it will also be the best strategic location for a sales agent when presenting a product to a new client.
• B2: Position of business interaction; used when two people are working together on a problem or project.
• OT: Competitive-defensive position. People take this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship, or when one of them reprimands the other for some wrongdoing. If B wants to influence A, then standing against each other reduces his chances of a successful negotiation.
• Q4: Independent position. This position is occupied by people who do not want to interact at the table with each other. Usually this happens in the library, in the park on a bench or in a restaurant at a table.

Rice. 18. The main types of arrangement of people around the table

King Arthur used the round table to give all knights an equal amount of power and equal position. The round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and is the best way to conduct a conversation between people of the same social status.

Chapter XVII. Various ways to artificially increase the status

The higher the back of the chair, the more power and authority the person sitting on it has. Kings, queens, popes and other privileged persons make the back of the chair up to 2.5 meters high to emphasize their status relative to their subjects.

Hess, E. The Tell-Tale Eye, New York, 1975. Apparently not translated into Russian. - Note. Baguzin.

General understanding of body language

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociological scientist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism, appeared. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, so a non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, at the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that in over a million years of human evolution, non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on the non-verbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.

As for the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's "The Expression of the Emotions in Humans and Animals", published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized today by researchers. all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (only words) by 7%, by sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and by non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person only speaks words for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence lasts no more than 2.5 seconds on average. Like Meyerabian, he found that less than 35% of the information in a conversation is verbal, and more than 65% of the information is conveyed through non-verbal communication.

Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a murderous look to a man, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and the movements that accompany them match with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell from their voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what voice a person is speaking by observing his gestures at the moment of speech.

It is difficult for many people to accept that man is, after all, a biological being. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies solely on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Cultural Signals.

Despite the fact that much research has been done, there are heated discussions about whether non-verbal signals are innate or acquired, whether they are transmitted genetically or acquired in some other way. Evidence comes from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn non-verbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures are classifiable. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Aibl-Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth manifests itself without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Sorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five very different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when showing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, do you cross your right hand over your left, or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done so. In one case they will feel comfortable, in the other case not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coats starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coats from the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually walks away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively, protecting her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously from watching other women?

Most non-verbal gestures are learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Consider these aspects of body language.

Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins

All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry.

Current page: 9 (total book has 25 pages)

Font:

100% +

Chapter 6
Hand and thumb gestures

Portrait of Napoleon by Jacques-Louis David, 1812.

We see the French emperor in his favorite pose. I wonder if he had a stomach ulcer or if he had a good day?

The human hand consists of 27 small bones connected by a network of ligaments and tendons. The joints of the hand are driven by dozens of small muscles. Scientists have noticed that the neural connection between the brain and the hand is much stronger than any other part of the body. Hand gestures allow you to clearly imagine the emotional state of a person. Since the hands are usually in front of the body, it is very easy to notice such signals. Most people have their own "signature" gestures that are used all the time. It is enough to remember Napoleon, and each of us will imagine a man with his hand tucked over the side of his waistcoat, with his thumb sticking out. We believe that many of you have a not very decent explanation for such a pose. Someone will suggest that the emperor suffered from a stomach ulcer or a skin disease. Perhaps it was considered indecent at the time to keep your hands in your pockets. Maybe Napoleon's hand was mutilated. And suddenly he kept a perfumed sachet over the side of his waistcoat, which he often brought to his nose. Or maybe the artist simply did not know how to depict a brush well. The reality is very simple. In 1738, before the birth of Napoleon, François Nivelon published The Book of Decent Conduct, in which he described the emperor’s favorite posture as follows: “The hand laid over the side of the coat is the most common posture of a noble person, full of masculinity and at the same time modesty” . When Napoleon saw his portrait, he said to the artist: "You understand me, my dear David." So, such a gesture emphasizes the high position of a person.

History books say that such a gesture was not the most favorite pose of the emperor. He didn't even pose for a portrait. The artist drew it from memory and chose the pose himself. But the essence of the hand gesture he chose is absolutely obvious. It is quite clear that Jacques - Louis David, being an artist, was well aware of the power and meaning of body language.

Napoleon's height was only 1.64 m. Those who saw only the portrait claimed that the emperor's height was at least 1.85 m.

What are the hands talking about?

For thousands of years, a person's position in society determined how many people had to silently listen to his speech. The higher the status of a person, the more people had to remain completely silent during his speech. In ancient Rome, a person of low birth could be executed if he inadvertently interrupted Caesar's speech. Today we live in a society dominated by freedom of speech. Anyone who wants to express their opinion can do so at any time. In the UK, Australia and the US, it is permissible to interrupt the president or prime minister. In 2003, when Tony Blair took part in a televised discussion about the Iraq crisis, the audience slapped the prime minister mercilessly in dissent. In many countries, brush movements play the role of a kind of "punctuation marks" in oral speech. The raising of hands is characteristic mainly of Italians and French. In England, you rarely see such a gesture, unless you say something that a true Englishman cannot agree with.

In Italy, the order of speeches is very simple: a person raises his hand, receives the floor and speaks. Listeners keep their hands down or behind their backs. If you want to insert a word, you will have to raise your hand. This can be done either by looking around and making sure that there are no others willing, or by touching a person who was also about to raise his hand and take the floor. It seems to many that Italians who talk to each other are always in a close relationship, since they constantly touch each other. In reality, they simply interrupt each other and take the floor.

In this chapter, we will talk about the most common hand and thumb gestures that we have to deal with almost constantly.

Tie an Italian's hands behind his back and he'll be left speechless.

Watch how the person sums up a discussion in which different points of view were expressed. You will immediately understand whose side he is on. In such a situation, the person raises one hand, palm up, and states the first point of view, and then raises the other hand and states the arguments of the other side. Those arguments that seem right to a person will be presented accompanied by a dominant hand: that is, right for right-handers or left for left-handers.

Hand gestures immediately grab attention, enhance the impact of the message, and help the person remember the information. At the University of Manchester, Geoffrey Beatty and Nina McLachlin did an interesting experiment. Participants had to listen to stories related to cartoon characters. The narrator, who spoke to one group, made various gestures - he imitated running, drying his hair with a hair dryer, spreading his arms to the sides, showing a fat man - an opera singer. The other told the story in an absolutely dispassionate manner, without making any gestures. After half an hour, the participants in the experiment were asked to repeat what they were told about. The group that listened to the story, accompanied by gestures, showed a higher degree of remembering details. From this we can conclude that gestures contribute to the memorization of information.

In this chapter, we will discuss the 15 most common gestures that you probably see every day and talk about their meaning.

Recently, our friend came to us, who was going to spend a vacation in a ski resort. During the conversation, she leaned back in her chair, smiled broadly, rubbed her palms and exclaimed: “I just can’t wait!” With her gesture, she non-verbally let us know that she expected a lot from this trip.

Rubbing the palms expresses positive expectations. Throwing dice, a person rubs them in his hands for a while as a sign of hope for a positive outcome of the game for himself. The master of ceremonies rubs his palms and says: "So, now we have the next speaker." An overjoyed salesman bursts into his boss's office, rubbing his palms, and says, "We just got a huge order!" However, when the waiter rubs his palms at the end of dinner and asks, “Anything else, sir?”, he nonverbally lets you know that he is counting on a good tip.

Demonstration of positive expectations

The speed of rubbing the palms indicates for whom the realization of the expectations experienced will be favorable. For example, you want to buy a house and come to a realtor. You talk about your wishes, the realtor rubs his palms vigorously and says: “I have a house suitable for you!” In this case, the realtor demonstrates his expectations that the results will be favorable for you. But how would you feel if the realtor starts rubbing his palms very slowly, even while saying the same words? You will subconsciously feel that he expects profitable results for himself, and not for you, the results of the transaction.

The vigorous rubbing of the palms indicates for whom the realization of expectations will be beneficial.

Salespeople are taught to use palm rub when telling potential buyers about the merits of products and services. Vigorous rubbing of the palms helps to bring buyers out of the defensive mood. If, for example, the buyer vigorously rubs his palms and says: “Let's see what you can offer me!”, The seller immediately understands that the chances of selling a product or service are very high.

"I have a great offer for you!"

When analyzing this gesture, always take the context into account. A person who vigorously rubs his palms while standing at a bus stop on a frosty winter day is unlikely to have positive expectations about the bus. He's probably just cold.

Rubbing the tip of the index finger or several fingers with the thumb is usually regarded as a signal of expectation of receiving money. The person seems to be rubbing a coin between his fingers. Such a gesture is often used by street vendors who promise a big discount, or those who want to borrow money from acquaintances.

However, when communicating with clients, professionals should avoid such a gesture, as it causes negative associations with money.

“We will make good money on this business!”

At first glance, such a gesture symbolizes confidence, since people often smile at this. However, we once watched a negotiator in this position tell us about a failed deal. He spoke, and his fingers gradually turned white. At the end of the story, we got the impression that they were grappling forever. Linked hands show an anxious, negative attitude. This gesture is very fond of Queen Elizabeth, especially during royal visits or public appearances. At the same time, her hands usually lie on her knees.

Hands clasped in a raised position are a sign of dissatisfaction, even if the person is smiling

Research on this gesture by negotiators Nirenberg and Calero has shown it to be a display of dissatisfaction. If such a gesture appears during negotiations, it means that a person experiences negative, disturbing feelings in relation to what is happening. Usually people sit in this position when they feel that they are not able to convince their opponents or that they have lost the negotiations.

Hands clasped in center position

Hands clasped in a lowered position

Hands can be clasped in three positions: in front of the face, on the table or on the knees, and in the standing position - at the level of the groin.

We found a relationship between the height of the clasped hands and the degree of dissatisfaction. The higher the linked hands are, the more difficult it is to negotiate with a person. Noticing that the interlocutor has clasped his hands, you should try to move him to another position: offer him a drink or ask him to hold something. Otherwise, the negative attitude will persist, and eventually your interlocutor will somehow cross his arms, forming an impenetrable barrier.

As we have said, gestures, like words in a sentence, are interconnected. Body language signals should always be interpreted in context, taking all circumstances into account. The Spire is the exception to the rule, as it most often appears in isolation. During this gesture, a person joins the tips of his fingers in a kind of spire of a cathedral and at the same time sometimes shakes his hands back and forth.

This person is confident that he knows the correct answer.

We noticed that the "spire" often occurs in the communication of the boss and subordinates. This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. The “spire” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and senior managers. Such a gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

President Chirac and Jerry Adams sometimes like to impersonate the Lord God himself

Sometimes the "spire" develops into a prayerful gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. We do not recommend using this gesture if you want to gain the trust of the interlocutor, as it is often perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency

If you want to look confident and show that you know all the answers, such a gesture will help you do this.

Imagine this scene: you are playing chess and you have to make a move. You bring your hand over the chessboard and touch the figure with your finger, indicating that you are going to play it. And at this moment, you notice that your opponent leaned back in his chair and folded his fingers into a “spire”. Thus, he non-verbally lets you know that he is completely confident in your next move and is not at all afraid of it. So you have a direct reason to change your intention. You touch another piece and continue to watch the opponent. If he interlocks his fingers or crosses his arms in one way or another, then he does not like your possible move, and you should do just that.

Lowered "spire"

The "spire" has two options: raised and lowered. An elevated "spire" appears when a person expresses his point of view or expresses his own ideas. The lowered "spire" is characteristic of those who carefully listen to the interlocutor.

Women more often choose the second option of such a gesture. If the raised "spire" is accompanied by tilting the head back, you are dealing with a self-satisfied, arrogant person.

Although the “spire” is generally a positive signal, its meaning can be different in different situations. Imagine that you are talking about your idea. During the presentation, you managed to notice a number of positive signals - open palms, leaning forward, nodding, etc. And suddenly, at the end of the speech, your interlocutor folds his fingers into a “spire”.

If the “spire” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you tell the interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the "spire" is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking away and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is confident that he will be able to refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other it is negative. The result is influenced by the gestures preceding the "spire".

The hands are always in sight, giving out your emotional state and attitude to what is happening. It is quite difficult to learn many body language signals at once, but hand gestures can be worked out to automatism. This will help you control yourself and make the right impression on others. By learning to correctly interpret hand gestures, you will look more confident and be able to win more than one chess game.

face demonstration

This gesture cannot be considered negative. This is an extremely positive signal that arises in the process of courtship. Most often it is used by women and passive homosexuals who want to attract male attention. The woman folds her arms over each other and rests her chin on them. She seems to put her face in a window so that men can admire him.

Face Showcase - This woman presents her face in the best possible way so that men can admire her

If you want to flatter a woman (sincerely or out of politeness), noticing such a gesture, you can safely do it.

Hands folded behind the back

The Duke of Edinburgh and other men of the British royal family often walk with their heads up, their chins out and their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Such a gesture is typical for state leaders, patrol officers, school principals strolling along the playground, senior officers and senior managers.

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. Our experience is that assuming a similar posture in a stressful situation, such as during an interview or in a dentist's office, you will immediately feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front view

In our work with police officers, we have found that unarmed officers constantly assume this position, while rocking slightly on their toes to visually increase their height. Armed police officers rarely adopt this posture, preferring to keep their hands down or tuck their fingers into their belts and show their thumbs. The weapon gives the officer sufficient authority, and he does not need to lay his hands behind his back to emphasize his position.

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person wraps one hand around the wrist with the other, as shown in the picture. This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly wraps around the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the capture, the more dissatisfied or annoyed your interlocutor is. In the next picture, you can see that the person is struggling to contain himself. His mood is much more negative than that of the one in the first picture. The man's hand was wrapped around his other arm above the elbow, not at the wrist. This gesture can be considered a clear illustration of the expression "keep yourself in control."

Grasping the wrist behind the back

Grasping the arm above the elbow

Wrapping the arm behind the back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents face off. So are the sellers who are in the "buying" zone, and patients waiting for the doctor. This gesture betrays an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this posture is also characteristic of you, try to change it to a palm-to-palm gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Show thumbs up

As already mentioned, showing the thumbs is a sign of superiority. In palmistry, thumbs testify to the strength of character and ego of a person. The body language cues associated with the thumbs also indicate self-importance. The thumbs are used to emphasize dominance, self-confidence, and sometimes aggressiveness. Thumb gestures are secondary and usually go in a chain. Showing the thumbs is a positive signal that is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize their own superiority. Men often use these gestures in the presence of attractive women. Such a posture is characteristic of people occupying a high position and well dressed. You are unlikely to see a bum in a similar position.

Thumb show

In this position, people often sway on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs in pockets

This gesture is characteristic of both men and women, confident in their high position and superiority over others. This is one of the favorite gestures of Prince Charles, betraying his mood. In a working environment, a similar gesture is characteristic of a boss who walks around the room where his subordinates work. When the chief is absent, his deputy can take such a pose. But none of the subordinates will ever put their hands in their pockets, sticking out their thumbs, in the presence of the boss.

Prince Charles put his hands in his pockets, but at the same time shows a thumbs up

Pay attention to the position of the interlocutor's thumbs, as they can give out a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, speaking before a jury, says in a soft, low voice: “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen…”, but at the same time he gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose”.

Lawyer pretending to be modest

The jury will immediately feel the insincerity and arrogance of the lawyer. If he really wanted to appear humble, he would have to approach the jury with his jacket open, palms open, and leaning forward to appear shorter.

“You seem like an honest, intelligent person,” the lawyer says. “I would have answered you in the same way, but, unfortunately, I have just taken the oath,” the witness replies.

People often stick their thumbs out of their back pockets (see picture) as if trying to hide their dominance. Until the 60s, such a gesture was unusual for women, but then they began to wear trousers and began to play a more important role in society, so today such a gesture is not uncommon among women.

Another very common chain of gestures is crossing the arms on the chest with the simultaneous demonstration of the thumbs. This signal has a dual meaning. He simultaneously shows a defensive or negative attitude (arms crossed) and superiority over the interlocutor (thumbs up). Usually this posture appears during a conversation. If a person is standing at the same time, then he can swing on his toes.

Showing thumbs is a sign of confidence and authority

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or derision, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with buddies might point his thumb at his wife and say, "She's always nagging at me, asking for a fight." Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only in relation to people they actively dislike.

This man is negative, but aware of his superiority

“She always saws me!”

It often happens that, starting to communicate with strangers, we feel sympathy and trust for one of them from the very first seconds of our communication, in relation to others - a clear negative, and still others - remain a mystery to us for some time. The fact is that information is transmitted not only through words, that is, at the verbal level, but also through non-verbal means of communication, which include facial expressions, postures and gestures.

Our gestures are accurate indicators of the internal state, thoughts, emotions and true desires of a person, therefore, in the case when we hear one thing in words, but we see a discrepancy in the face and body of the interlocutor, doubts and distrust of the speaker arise in us. And it happens on a subconscious level. For some reason, we simply don’t like this person, and only after a while we find confirmation of this, we are convinced of the correctness of our first impression of him, exclaiming: “I felt it!”.

The fact is that words are easier to control, but gestures, gaze and body postures are the most difficult to control by will. Therefore, our "second language" is often more truthful and effective. This is what we observe when they try to deceive or confuse us, body language says something completely different than words, and for someone who we immediately liked, the words and gestures said the same thing, coincided and did not contradict each other.

By physical nature, gestures can be divided into two large groups: head and manual (manual). Manual gestures are performed with one or both hands, they are divided into subgroups: finger, wrist, elbow, shoulder and mixed.

The hand plays a special role in the gesture. R. Slavsky in the book “The Art of Pantomime” wrote: “The hand is the soul of the gesture. The brush calls, beckons, invites, repels, gives, takes, reproaches, tells, caresses, punishes, asks, sees off; in the hand, as well as in the whole hand, it is necessary to develop liveliness and plastic softness.

Rubbing the palms

psychodiagnostics gesture non-verbal profiling

By rubbing the palms people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win.

The master of ceremonies or master of ceremonies rubs his palms before saying, “We look forward to our next performer,” however, if a waiter comes to your table at the end of the evening and rubs his hands and asks, “What else would you like, sir?”, then the non-verbal message is that he is hinting at a tip.

The speed with which this gesture is performed signals the person who expects to receive positive results in this situation. For example, you want to buy a house and contact a real estate agent. After you describe the house you want to buy to him, he quickly rubs his palms and says, “I have just such a house for you!” Thus, the agent has signaled to you that the deal will be profitable for you. How will you feel if he slowly rubs his palms together, saying that he has an ideal place for you? He will seem cunning or dishonest to you, and you will have the feeling that the upcoming deal will be more profitable for him, and not for you. Salespeople are taught that if they use this gesture when they describe their products or services to potential buyers, they must do it quickly so as not to scare off the buyer.

When a buyer comes to the sellers with this gesture and says: “Come on, let's see what you have!”, This will mean that the buyer assumes that he will be presented with something nice, and that he will certainly make a purchase.

One warning : if you see a person rubbing his hands at a bus stop in winter, this does not necessarily mean that he is doing it out of impatience while waiting for the bus. His hands are just cold!

Rubbing the thumb against the index finger

Rubbing the thumb against the index finger or the tips of other fingers is commonly used to indicate money and expect money to be received as payment. Sales agents often use this gesture when communicating with their customers. Or in a conversation between friends, this gesture can be used by the person lending money. But this gesture should be avoided by service personnel when working with customers.

Clasped fingers

At first glance, this may seem like a gesture of trust, because when people resort to it, they smile and feel happy. This gesture denotes disappointment and a person's desire to hide their negative attitude. This gesture has three variants: crossed fingers raised at face level, hands resting on the table, on the knees in a sitting position, or below in front of you in a standing position.

Spike hand position

This gesture has two options :

• - hands up
• - arms pointing down

The first position is usually taken when the speaker is expressing his opinion or expounding his ideas.

The second position is used when a person does not speak, but listens. .

Women are more likely to use the spire-down hand position than the spire-up. When, with the position of the hands with a spire up, the speaker's head is thrown back, he has a touch of complacency and arrogance. Although generally regarded as a positive signal, the spike gesture can be used in both positive and negative circumstances and can therefore be misinterpreted. For example, a sales agent offering his product to a potential buyer may notice a series of positive gestures from the buyer during the negotiation. It can be bare palms, and a forward tilt, and a raised head, etc.

Suppose that towards the end of the negotiation, the client makes a spike gesture. If this gesture, in response to the agent's offer to give his decision, is followed by a series of positive gestures, the agent will receive a signal that he can end the negotiations, ask about the order and be sure that he will follow. On the other hand, if the spike gesture (especially if it was done at the end of the product presentation) is followed by a series of negative gestures, such as crossing the arms on the chest, crossing the legs, shifting eyes and numerous gestures associated with the manipulation of hands near the face , then this indicates that the buyer has made a firm decision not to buy this product, and wants to get rid of the sales agent.

Laying hands behind the back

It has been observed that many male members of the British Royal Family have a habit of walking with their heads held high, their chins thrust out, and their hands clasped behind their backs. In everyday life, this gesture is used by a police officer on duty, a local school principal walking through the schoolyard, senior military officials and people in responsible positions. Therefore, it is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. It allows a person with unconscious fearlessness to open their vulnerable areas of the body, such as the stomach, heart, throat.

The “hands behind the back” gesture is different from the “clasping hands behind the back with a grip on the wrist” gesture, which indicates that the person is upset and is trying to control himself. In this case, one hand grabs the wrist so tightly, as if it is trying to keep it from striking. Interestingly, the more angry a person is, the higher his hand moves along his back. This is where the expression "Pull yourself together!" came from.

Accentuation of the thumbs

In hand divination teachings, the thumbs signify the strength of character and the ego of the individual, and non-verbalism using the thumbs confirms this. Showing thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person.

However, this gesture must be considered in conjunction with other gestures. Open thumbs are a positive sign . Often the gesture is present in the pose of a stern boss in society with his subordinates. A man courting a woman uses this gesture in her presence, and it is most typical for people dressed in formal and prestigious clothes.

People wearing attractive new clothes use this gesture more often. , than people dressed in outdated, outdated clothes.

The thumbs, denoting superiority, become an even more eloquent gesture if a person says words that are completely opposite to the gesture. Thumbs very often peek out of a person's pockets , sometimes even from the back pockets of trousers to hide the dominance of a person in a given situation. Women also resort to this gesture. In addition, lovers of this gesture often stand on tiptoe to become taller.

Another popular gesture is the arms crossed over the chest with the thumbs held vertically. This gesture conveys a double signal - the first of a negative or defensive attitude (arms crossed) plus a sense of superiority (expressed by the thumbs). The person using this gesture usually plays with one or both fingers, and the standing position is characterized by swaying in heels. This gesture is not typical for women, although sometimes they also use it in relation to people they do not like.

Deception, lies, doubt

How do you know if a person is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face. . When we watch or hear others tell lies or lie ourselves, we make an attempt to cover our mouth, eyes, or ears with our hands. . If a small child is lying, he will cover his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stop the lying words coming out of his mouth. If he does not want to listen to the lectures of his parents, he simply plugs his ears with his fingers or covers his ears with his hands. . If he sees something that he would not like to see, he covers his eyes with his hands . When a person grows up, his gestures, using hands near his face, become more subtle and less noticeable, but they still take place , If this gesture is used by a person at the time of speech, this indicates that he is telling a lie. However, if he covers his mouth with his hand while you speak , and he listens, it means that he feels you are lying! One of the most depressing scenes for a speaker is the view of the audience, where everyone has their hands to their mouths during the speech. . In a small audience or one-on-one communication, it would be wise to pause your message and address the audience with the question, “Would anyone like to comment on what I said?” This will allow the audience to voice their objections, and you will be given the opportunity to clarify your statements and answer questions.

Mouth protection with hand

Protecting the mouth with the hand is one of the few gestures of an adult and has the same meaning as a child's gesture.

The hand covers the mouth and the thumb is pressed to the cheek, while the brain at the subconscious level sends signals to hold back the spoken words. Sometimes it may be only a few fingers at the mouth or even a fist, but the meaning of the gesture remains the same. Some people try to fake a cough to disguise this gesture. .

Touch on the nose

In essence, a touch on the nose is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. It can be expressed in a few light touches to the dimple under the nose. , or be expressed with one quick, almost imperceptible touch. Some women do this gesture very carefully so as not to smudge the lipstick and damage the makeup.

One of the explanations for the nature of this gesture is that when bad thoughts enter the consciousness, the subconscious mind tells the hand to cover the mouth, but at the very last moment, out of a desire to disguise this gesture, the hand is pulled away from the mouth, and a light touch to the nose is obtained. .

Another explanation may be that during the lie there are ticklish urges on the nerve endings of the nose, and one really wants to scratch the nose to get rid of them. “But what if a person just often itches his nose?” If the nose itches, then the person will intentionally scratch or scratch it, which is different from lightly touching the nose with a hand in a situation of deception. Like touching your mouth, touching your nose can be used both by the speaker to disguise his own deceit, and by the listener who doubts the sincerity of the speaker's words.

Rubbing the century

This gesture is caused by the desire in the brain to hide from the deceit, suspicion, or lies it faces, or the desire to avoid looking into the eyes of the person it is telling a lie. Men usually rub their eyelids in a very vigorous manner, and if the lie is very serious, they look away, usually to the floor. Women do this movement very delicately. , running a finger under the eye.

This can be caused by two reasons:

• - due to their upbringing, they are not familiar with rude gestures;
• - caution movements due to the presence of makeup on the eyelids. Averting their eyes to the side, they look at the ceiling. The expression "Lying through your teeth" is known. . This expression refers to a complex of gestures consisting of clenched teeth and a forced smile, rubbing the eyelid with a finger and looking away. Movie actors use this complex gesture to portray the insincerity of their characters, but in real life this gesture is rare.

Ear scratching and rubbing

In fact, this gesture is caused by the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words by placing his hand near or above the ear. This gesture is an adult modification of the gesture of a small child when he plugs his ears so as not to listen to the reproaches of his parents. Other options for touching the ear are rubbing the pinna, drilling into the ear (with the tip of a finger), pulling on the earlobe, or bending the ear in an attempt to cover the ear opening. This last gesture indicates that the person has heard enough and wants, perhaps, to speak out.

Neck scratching

In this case, a person scratches the place under the earlobe or the side of the neck with the index finger of the right hand. Our observations of this gesture revealed an interesting point: a person usually makes five scratching movements . Very rarely, the number of scratches will be less than five or more than five. This gesture speaks of a person's doubt and insecurity. , who says "I'm not sure I agree with you." It is especially striking if it is contrary to verbal language, for example, if a person says something like: "I perfectly understand how you feel."

Collar pull

In a study of people's gestures accompanying their lies, Desmond Morris noticed that lying causes an itchy sensation in the delicate muscle tissues of the face and neck, and scratching is required to soothe these sensations. This seems to be an acceptable explanation for why some people pull back their collar when they lie and suspect that their deception has been discovered. Also, it seems that the deceiver has beads of sweat on his neck when he feels that you have suspected deception.

This gesture is also used when a person is angry or upset, while he pulls the collar from the neck to cool it with fresh air. When you see a person making this gesture, you can ask him, "Could you repeat that?" or “Could you clarify this point?” And this will make the deceiver refuse to continue his cunning game.

fingers in mouth

Human lays down fingers in the mouth capable of strong oppression . It is man's unconscious attempt to return to that safe, unclouded time in infancy when the child suckled at its mother's breast. A small child sucks his finger, and as for an adult, in addition to his finger, he puts into his mouth such objects as cigarettes, pipes, pens, and the like. While the gestures associated with covering the mouth with the hand indicate deceit, the fingers in the mouth indicate an internal need for approval and support. Therefore, when this gesture appears, it is necessary to support the person or assure him with guarantees.

Supporting the palm of the cheek and chin

A good lecturer is one who instinctively senses when his audience is interested in what he is saying and when they have lost interest. .

Boredom

When the listener begins to put his hand in order to lean his head on it , this is a sure sign that he is bored and props his head up with his hand to keep himself awake. The degree of boredom correlates with the severity of using the hand as a support. Extreme boredom and lack of interest are seen when the head is completely on the hand, and the absolute signal of boredom is if a person lies with his head on the table and snores!

Estimated relations

A person takes an evaluative posture if he props up his cheek with his fingers clenched into a fist, and the index finger rests on the temple.

If a person loses interest, but politely wants to appear interested, their posture will change slightly so that the head rests on the base of the palm. . When the index finger is pointing vertically towards the temple and the thumb supports the chin , this indicates that the listener has a negative or critical attitude towards the lecturer or the subject of his message. Often, the index finger may rub or pull on the eyelid as the negative thoughts thicken. The longer a person keeps these gestures, the longer his critical attitude will last. . This gesture is a signal that the speaker needs to do something urgently, either to try to captivate the listener with the content of his message, or to round off his speech. An easy way is to give him something to support and thereby change his posture. The gesture of critical evaluation is often confused with a signal of interest, but with a critical attitude, there will definitely be a chin propped up with the thumb.

Chin stroking

The next time you have the opportunity to pitch an idea to a group of people, watch carefully for their reactions as you do so, and you'll pick up a lot of fun. Most, if not all, of your group will bring one hand up to their face and begin to make judgmental gestures. . When you come to the end of your presentation and ask the members of the group to give their opinion or suggestion regarding your idea, the appraisal gestures will disappear. Your listeners will have one hand move to their chin and begin stroking their chin. .

This "chin stroke" gesture means that the person is trying to make a decision. The following signals will tell you whether their decision will be positive or negative. If, for example, after this gesture, he crosses his arms over his chest and crosses his legs, then leans back in his chair, then he received a non-verbal negative answer.

Rubbing the back of the head and slapping the forehead

If a person makes this gesture while uttering a lie, he averts his eyes and looks at the floor. This gesture is also a sign of frustration or anger. , but in this case, the hand first pats on the neck, and then begins to rub it. Let's say that you asked your subordinate to complete your assignment, and that he forgot to do it by the required time. When you ask him about the results of the assignment, he will non-verbally answer that he forgot to do it, slapping himself on the forehead or on the neck, as if figuratively beating, punishing himself for forgetfulness.

Although a slap on the head usually indicates forgetfulness, the gesture also expresses how the person feels about you or the situation, depending on whether the slap is on the forehead or on the neck. If he slaps his forehead , he signals that he is not frightened by the fact that he showed his forgetfulness in front of you. But when he pats his neck, he informs you in such a non-verbal way that he is terribly unpleasant that you pointed out this mistake to him. People who have a habit of rubbing the back of their necks tend to be negative or critical of others, while those who habitually slap their foreheads in non-verbal acknowledgment of their mistake tend to be more open-minded people.

Arms crossed on chest

Express an attempt to hide from an unfavorable situation. The position of the hands in this gesture can be very diverse, in this book we will discuss the three most characteristic positions.

The typical, standard crossing of the arms is a universal gesture, almost everywhere denoting the defensive or negative state of the person making this gesture. You can always see him watching a person in a crowd of strangers at social gatherings, in line, in cafeterias, in elevators and in other places where people feel insecure and insecure.

Crossing of arms, reinforced by clenching fingers into a fist

If, in addition to crossing the arms on the chest, a person still clenches his fingers into a fist, this indicates his hostile and offensive position. Often this is accompanied by clenched teeth and a flushed face, in which case a verbal or physical attack may follow. A soothing gesture using open palms is needed to discover the cause that led to such hostile gestures. The person using a series of these gestures is in an attacking position, as opposed to a person who has taken a defensive, defensive position with the help of crossing his arms over his chest.

Crossed hands on the shoulder part of the arm.

The hands dig into the shoulder of the opposite arm to secure the position of the hands, to exclude any attempt to open the arms and expose the chest to the blow. The hands can dig so hard into the shoulder that the fingers and knuckles turn white because blood does not flow to them.

This gesture can often be seen in the waiting room of a doctor or dentist, or in the cabin of an airplane before takeoff in people flying for the first time in an airplane. It means holding back negative feelings.

Incomplete hand barrier

If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, then it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one arm is placed across the body, secured to the other arm. This creates a barrier. A person often uses a hand barrier when in the company of strangers, or in the absence of self-confidence.

Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands. . This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.