How to substitute a colleague in front of the boss. What to do if colleagues "substitute" you in front of the management? Bosses are different

It is all the more offensive when they try to slander and "substitute" before the authorities. This not only affects the reputation in general, but can also affect further career growth.

In such cases, it is sometimes necessary to simply quit. Although, if you work for a long time, the business you are doing is dear to you, then you need to try to resolve this situation.

Try to figure out why an unpleasant incident happened to you. Maybe you yourself are wrong in your relationships with your colleagues? Or is there a banal envy, for example, you do a good job and receive regular awards, while some colleagues never get it? In this case, you can try to talk to those colleagues who create inconvenience to you. Try to explain that you are not the enemy. Offer your help at work, assistance. If you have not done anything bad to your colleagues, then, perhaps, the situation will be resolved.

Bosses are different

As for the leadership, the bosses, of course, are different. But in most cases, the leader still has enough intelligence and wisdom to understand what his subordinates are.

He, most likely, realizes that changing employees on the first denunciation is sheer stupidity, therefore he will try to understand a difficult situation. Surely invite you to talk. If it is not your fault, then you should behave calmly, answer honestly, do not play around. If there is any friction with colleagues, again, tell them truthfully.

However, remember that it is not worth being overly frank with anyone at work - this is the minimum that is necessary to protect you from ill-wishers.

If you really did harm to your boss or client, then you shouldn't be quick to make excuses or get nervous blaming the scammers. Intemperance in emotions, overly nervous behavior only cause even more distrust. Better to pretend that you are surprised and perplexed. There is no need to blame anyone else. Try to show your boss that you are looking for a way out of this situation, trying to figure it out. Most likely, this will rehabilitate you and allay the manager's anger. In the future, it is better to keep a distance from your ill-wisher at work in order to avoid unpleasant situations.

It may also be that the boss sympathizes with your ill-wisher, then with a greater degree of probability you will not be able to prove your case. Anyway, do not get lost and defend your position, involve witnesses and facts.

Hello. My name is Anna, I am 32 years old. Help me to get out of this situation with dignity. I have been working in a private company as a chief accountant for a year and a half. The working team is female, I am chief accountant, HR department for 27 years. and deputy director for 49 years. At first it was very difficult to find a common language with everyone, but everything seemed to be working out. Before me, the current deputy worked as the chief accountant. director. The working days are positive. Morning at the deputy. director begins with the Internet and viewing sites of an entertainment nature. At first it annoyed me, asked myself the question: "How can this be?" But then she resigned herself and stopped paying attention. She also resigned herself to the fact that to any of my questions when it was necessary to make some important decision, she answered, "You are the chief accountant, you are responsible, you think." I want to clarify a small nuance, we are all subordinate to the direct director who is in another city and all communication takes place only through the deputy. Over the adoption of an important decision, I think, I find acceptable options, I offer them to the deputy director, she agrees and then, after a while, a call to the director, which offends me especially, IN MY PRESENCE, and explains to him the acceptable options for solving problems that I found with the words: " So, I didn’t sleep at night, I thought, and came up with this option ..... ". Everything would be fine, but the director said that the wages will rise only for those who will take the initiative, but it turns out that the initiative comes only from the deputy and no one else works. Recently, she substitutes me very much, but on Kana I have not only interpersonal relations, but since I work as a chief accountant, she very much substitutes me in financial terms and the correctness of submitting reports. If the amount of taxes to be paid is large, she tells the director that I did not calculate them correctly, that I did not tell her that there would be such a sum, although this is not so, she knew about it. Naturally, I am not silent and prove my case, but it turns out worse. The director doesn't want to listen to me, he blindly believes and trusts the deputy. I could leave this firm, but it is not for me. If I leave simply and silently, she won. But I can't do that, I just need to prove my case and leave with my head held high, although I stop myself from war, because I know that it will be worse for me and there will be big problems. I'm confused. What to do? Should I continue the war or bow my head obediently and let me continue to ride? The biggest problem is how to remove the rose-colored glasses from the director. I tried to meet with him, to call him for a conversation, but everything was useless. My victory will be if I still manage to open his eyes to everything that happens and how he is deceived and misled.

Psychologists' Answers

Hello Anna!

My victory will be if I still manage to open his eyes to everything that happens to how he is deceived and misled.

No, Anna, that's not it. While you play with your deputy. director into the game: whoever the bosses like best, you will lose, simply because you play it. It's better to just do your job with pleasure, get decent money for it and not prove anything to anyone. If the responsibility is yours, then you are accountable. If this is not the case, then you have a bad director. Either you agree to the incorrect rules, or change the rules, or look for another job. Your victory will lie in achieving inner peace and self-confidence, but this is possible in a completely different game.
Sincerely

Chvalun Evgeny Viktorovich, psychologist Ryazan

Anna, if you want to prove something at work, you must understand that neither words nor emotions can be worthy proof. Only documented evidence can change anything. And then, only if the director wants to change something. After all, you forget that everything suits him. It is important for you who is right and who is not. For him, it is also important that the work process goes on and his company earns money. Moreover, he has known the deputy for a long time, and you, as an employee, are still young.

Want to prove something? Document it. Are there high taxes? Write a memo addressed to the deputy and director. Have you come up with options for a solution? Write a certificate addressed to the deputy and director. Not for complaints about the deputy, look for a meeting with the director, but in order to take his email address, to which, with his consent, you will send your job offers.

Also, think about how to documentally protect yourself from financial fraud. If this is not possible, leave. After all, while you are simply offended for such an injustice and want to win, you can get big money. Do you need it? Decide not in terms of resentment, but in terms of safety. You are the chief accountant, so take into account the specifics of your work: you can work calmly, or the fear of a setup is justified.

Pay attention to you.

Naumenko Galina Grigorievna, psychologist Gomel

Relationships with superiors play an important role in career and business advancement scenarios. turns out to be a difficult psychological test for many people. When a leader does not control himself, the problem is gaining momentum. Not everyone is capable of enduring rudeness, but a worthy response also requires strength. What if the boss is provocative? How to deal with rudeness and tyranny? When is the best time to remain silent and what actions are appropriate for emergencies? The answers to the questions will be given by the applied psychology of business communication.

What kind of bosses are there?

Leading people is a complex art that requires a set of certain qualities from a person: self-control, flexibility, ambition, sociability, organization ... the list goes on forever. When the work in a team does not go well, it is worth thinking about the competence of the boss.

Destructive leaders are destroyers of the office world and order. You can't cook porridge with them, and you can't solve matters. But there are always plenty of problems.

• Creepy Is a middle-order god. He is a petty leader running errands for a big boss. Today he is pleased with your work, and tomorrow he will cheer you up, having received criticism from higher management.
• Dictator- will not let you say a word against. Does not accept criticism, advice, does not hear wishes. He thinks he knows everything better than you. And even if you are a first-class architect, and he does not distinguish a load-bearing wall from a non-load-bearing one, his authoritarian wishes are undeniable.

• Razgildyay- his element is lack of organization, disorganization. He forgets about important meetings, deadlines, assignments, does not control the progress of work, breaking down on subordinates for his mistakes.
• Sadist- tyrant who knows all the weaknesses of his subordinates. He loves to be bullied. The sadist is strongly attached to the victim, skillfully steps on the sore calluses, humiliating the person. The tyrant has sadistic love for his subordinates. He fosters in the collective a sense of dependence and slavish submission, instilling a sense of fear in subordinates.
• Actor- plays a competent specialist. Its sole purpose is to maintain the image, even by humiliating subordinates.
• Coward- afraid of competition. He is suspicious and seeks to prevent the slightest danger. By humiliating subordinates, he kills the spirit of rivalry in the team.
• Father-mentor, mother-director- Most of the time, fatherly-type managers are professional in their responsibilities. Manifestations of destructive behavior arise unexpectedly, but soon pass without bringing obvious destructive consequences.

Your response to your boss depends on the reasons and forms of inappropriate behavior.

Inappropriate Leader Behavior:

• increased intonation, harsh speech,
• ridiculing and belittling subordinates,
• familiar behavior,
• flirting, obscene hints,
• passively derogatory gestures (humiliation in a veiled form: sarcastic remarks, ambiguous smiles, hints).

These are signs of unprofessionalism. In Russia, the literacy of the management team is poorly developed.

Positions often go to the strongest, but not the most worthy. Assess your strengths and capabilities before entering the fight.

The slightest mistake will be your defeat and make things worse at work.

How to put in place a presumptuous leader?

• Calmness... Don't get emotional. It's easier to manipulate you when you're energized. Start preparing for the conversation in advance. Take a couple of minutes, close your eyes. Breathe evenly: inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Repeat several times. Don't screw yourself up before talking. Keep calm, level, try not to show emotions. Calmness will temper the ardor of the boss.

• Politeness... When the leader is rude, ask him to explain the reasons for the behavior. Speak in a cold, reserved tone, politely. Show that you are raised. Uncultural behavior is a sign of low intellectual development. You are above rudeness. There is no place for non-professional communication in business ethics. Politeness and restraint are a sign of courage. Controlling your emotions means defeating your fears. Having mastered yourself, you become an uninteresting toy for the boss of the sadist or actor.

• Conversation face to face. Public attacks against the authorities are fraught with unpleasant consequences. To avoid them, choose a place and time to talk with the boss in private. Try to find out what does not suit him in your work. Take a piece of paper, a pen and write it down. If any of the above is not true, ask again. By forcing the boss to repeat the lie, you are not focusing on the illegality and incorrectness of his actions, awakening the conscience.

If the boss is a tyrant, in a personal conversation, you can try to hurt his self-conceit. In this case, there are 2 nuances:

• Self-doubt and natural shyness will prevent you from winning the collision. Exodus: Tyranny will become tougher.
• You run the risk of going too far. Your relationship with your boss will deteriorate completely, and your workplace will be called into question.

During the conversation, do not let your feet dry, show your inner core and confidence. Don't fall for provocations. If during a conversation your boss attacks and engages you in a skirmish, imagine yourself under the protection of a glass dome. You are inside, and the boss is outside. His rough and aggressive attacks bounce off the glass surface without touching you. While you fantasize, the boss will cool off. Start talking when the boss has let off steam and finished his tirade. Do not interrupt, do not try to shout down the boss, this will aggravate the situation.

• Ignoring... Suitable for interacting with bosses who show inconstant aggression: creepy, sloven, mother-director. In their case, negative attacks have a specific reason. Bosses are people too, and they have their weaknesses. A sense of heightened responsibility, an almost paternal love for the team, forces the father-boss to go beyond the framework of business communication. Razguildyay is aggressive in case of major failures. The creepy boss behaves inappropriately after being shaken by senior management. Such attacks are easier to survive, immersed in work, trying not to pay attention to the raging leadership.

• Non-verbal techniques. With dictatorial leaders, methods of verbal influence are powerless. You can convey your dissatisfaction to an authoritarian leader with the help of gestures, facial expressions, glances, and intonation. This method is suitable for employees, especially those who value the workplace. By influencing the subconscious, you will avoid direct confrontation and bypass conflict situations.

Indirect methods of influencing the boss or boss

A person receives about 80% of the information in a non-verbal way! If you build a model of behavior correctly, the information will firmly gain a foothold in the boss at the subconscious level.

• Forget about smiling. Don't try to smooth things over by smiling at your boss at an awkward moment.

Be serious. Women in communication with men on a subconscious level use a smile to gain sympathy. In a business relationship, this technique may not work.

Smiling awkwardly, you show gentleness and provoke attacks, especially the sadist, dictator, and actor. The emotionless expression on his face chills the boss's ardor.

• Follow your gaze. Make eye contact with your boss. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, keep your gaze at the level of your nose. When you lower your eyes, you acknowledge the strength of the other person. On a subconscious level, he feels that you have surrendered and goes on an active offensive.

• Control your gestures. Lowering the head, constant nodding, nervous gestures, defensive postures and movements, and weakness. Monitor your behavior:

• Don't lean back communicating with the boss;
• Don't look for additional support in the form of a table or chair when standing in front of the boss;
• Do not fence off arms and legs crossed from him;
• Stop blowing away non-existent dust particles and remove invented specks from clothes;
• Take your hands off your face and look up;
• Express your consent with a discreet single nod;
• Formulate phrases accurately and answer questions.

• Do not hesitate trying to get away from the answer... Hiding behind vague phrases, you confess insecurity and weakness.
• Work on your clothes. Business dress is a symbol of distance. A formal dress code puts a subconscious communication frame in the boss's head. It is not for nothing that in large companies employees are obliged to fulfill mandatory requirements for appearance, the main of which is the business style of clothing.
• Ignore jokes and provocations. The lack of the expected response will disrupt the boss's plans. Move on to discussing work issues without noticing sarcasm and inappropriate jokes. This technique does not work with tyrant leaders. Silence for them is a sign of weakness and fear, which affects sadists like a red rag to a bull.

Dealing with habitual non-verbal responses is difficult, but necessary if you want to show your boss his place.

When choosing a method of response, be guided by your own strengths and the character of your boss. The more you take into account individual factors, the more effective your behavior will be.

What can’t be done?

• Silently endure public insults. So you risk losing the respect not only of your boss, but also of your colleagues.
• Respond with rudeness. Rudeness breeds new aggression. Do not stoop to the level of a boor, respect your dignity.
• Criticizing the boss. No boss likes criticism. If your boss is a dictator, you risk deepening the conflict. By judging your boss for a fit of anger, you provoke a negative outburst on you. A single aggressive attack will turn into persistent hostility on the part of the leader.
• Humbly ask for forgiveness and take the blame. So you humiliate your own dignity and untie the tyrant's hands. You will be held responsible for all incidents in the office. Such behavior with a sadist and sloven is especially dangerous. If respect in the team does not play a big role for you, or the dialogue with the boss takes place in private, you can take the blame in dealing with a dictator or a coward. The aggressive attacks will stop.

Forewarned is forearmed!

Conflicts with superiors are easier to prevent than deal with their consequences.

• Strike a balance of interests. often arise from misunderstandings. The boss does not seek to explain his position and desires to his subordinates, and the employees endure and silently carry out the vague tasks of the manager. Outcome: dissatisfaction on both sides. Look for benefits for yourself and your boss. Find the optimal balance of interests.

• Understand the boss. Take a closer look at the boss. Having studied his habits, requirements, character traits, you can avoid controversial situations and conflicts. Knowing the hidden causes of inappropriate behavior gives you a secret weapon in the fight against boss misconduct.
• Build dialogue. People open up in communication. Through dialogue, it is possible to convey to a person not only verbal information, but also an internal state. Surely you have seen employees who are able to calm the father-boss in anger or influence the boss - sloppily. It's all about the right approach to communication, and every boss has weaknesses.
• Confidence from the first days. When you apply for a new job,. Sadists and actors avoid clashes with such people. Overconfidence can unnerve a boss who is a coward or a dictator. It depends on the leader how much you can raise the bar of your fearlessness.

You can find a balance of relationships with any boss. Be careful and don't be afraid of the leadership.

Ideally, an even and friendly relationship should be maintained with all employees in the team. However, this is not always possible. People are different, some of them treat you well, and the other can do something wrong. If you are set up at work, it is insulting and extremely unpleasant, but first of all, you need to minimize the consequences.

If you were set up at work, what to do?

You were framed - a conversation with your boss

The chief calls you into his office and demonstratively puts in front of you a report with errors or a summary of real data that is noticeably different from those indicated in yours, and you understand that you do not know where these papers came from, yesterday they looked like -other. It doesn't matter if you suspected that cunning colleagues were going to do something wrong to you, or if it really came as a surprise to you, be surprised. Shrug your hands and say that all this is a misunderstanding, the correct report is saved on your computer, and the accountant yesterday submitted other information - here is the paper, the seal and the signature. Do not shout that you have been set up, and do not poke your fingers at your colleagues. A smart leader will come to this conclusion himself. If he asks about your ill-wishers, you can delicately put forward an assumption (in which you yourself will be sure) about who could have done it.

Do not give the names of people whom you suspect that they set you up if you are not sure about it. If you make a mistake, you will be ashamed.

Work will not go to Fedot

It is not your fault that you were set up, however, if you did not grab the ill-wisher by the hand, you will still have to correct the mistakes. Try to do this as quickly as possible, without moaning about cunning colleagues or complaining to clients and bosses. The people involved in this story will appreciate both your professionalism and personal qualities.

How to deal with the person who set you up

You may know who set you up, but not the fact that the boss will decide to fire this person. It is likely that you will continue to work with him in the same company and even in the same office. For all your anger and resentment, don't get into fights. Best of all, do not pay any attention to the colleague who has sat you down - do not help him, do not communicate with him, do not offer to familiarize himself with the new report form, let someone else do it, do not share sugar with him.

Work plays an important role in our life - for everyone its own. For some, it serves only as a means of earning money, while for others it becomes a matter of life. If you do what you really love, you are a real lucky woman! What could be better than an activity that helps you realize your potential and unleash all your talents? However, sometimes it happens that a fly in the ointment is found in a barrel of honey, which can spoil the enjoyment of the work process. Society is an important component of life, and our mood often depends on the people around us. Unfortunately, it is very difficult in one company to collect employees, each of whom would have only positive qualities. This is especially true for large corporations with a large staff. The bosses have to make a difficult choice between character and professionalism, and most often the latter is preferred - while the head can only turn a blind eye to the difficult character of a colleague. As a result, such colleagues take advantage of their position and do what they want. They are able to spoil our lives in order, causing daily spoiled mood and constant stress. How to teach a colleague at work who is annoying with his rudeness and impudence? There are a number of effective ways to help you put down an annoying employee.

If a colleague is a thorn

1. Try to invite a picky colleague with you for lunch, and over a cup of coffee, calmly discuss the situation, having a one-on-one talk about the issue of your concern. Straightforwardness and frankness on your part, coupled with a trusting attitude, in most cases, is a very effective technique.
2. Reduce tense situations and skirmishes with a colleague to a joke, or even "joke" over him, showing that you are not hurt by his attacks. Faced with your calmness and equanimity, he will understand that you are "too tough for him," and he will quickly get bored with this business.
3. If the bully begins, among other things, to speak negatively about the work - listen to him to the end. Then, if you are lucky, you can turn this information against him.
4. If your colleague is smart and experienced, and finds fault with you on business - do not rush to bicker and argue. Take his opinion into consideration and think - maybe he wants only good things for you, but because of his persistent or even harsh character, did you take the behavior of a colleague for aggression? This also happens quite often. Watch him, maybe he just has a kind of "cocky" manner of communication. In this case, it will take some getting used to. The main thing is not to create negativity in the relationship on your part. Be balanced and judicious.

How to teach a scammer a lesson?

1. If your colleague is extremely hostile and tries to get you fired by denouncing your boss, he clearly sees you as a competitor. This behavior must be nipped in the bud. In order for the spiteful critic not to have a chance to "wash your bones" over and over again - reduce communication with him to a minimum, or rather keep silent altogether. It is not for nothing that they say that silence is golden. Discuss all personal matters outside the office and try to be as talkative as possible at work. Do not give the slightest reason for gossip.
2. A good way to put the scammer in his place, or even get him demoted, is through disinformation. Tell the informer knowingly false information, and the more absurd they are, the better. When the bosses realize that they are trying to fool them, your ill-wisher will definitely not do well.
3. Do not try to repay the dastardly colleague with “the same coin” by complaining about him to the manager. This will not lead to anything good, moreover, it is highly likely that both of you will get "on the hat". It is much more reasonable behavior towards the informer to ignore his antics.
4. Put the slave in an unfavorable light in front of the team - tell everyone about his behavior. Scammers are not favored, therefore, perhaps this will discourage him from doing this in the future.
5. If you like to act decisively and boldly - use hard, evil humor and irony. This will show the offender that he was wrong with the choice of the “victim”.

How to deal with boors

1. Mockery and a condescending smile are the best options for dealing with boors. If you hear rudeness, condemnation, or even name-calling, deliberately confirm the words of the offender and repeat them in your relationship, only in an exaggerated form. The opponent will immediately feel wounded and powerless, and in an instant "go out".
2. Treat a cheeky colleague with emphatic affection and kindness, as if you were dealing with a patient in a psychiatric clinic. Agree with him in everything and speak in a deliberately sweet voice. Such a psychological "straitjacket" will instantly siege a violent colleague.
3. Make an effort and try to overtake a colleague up the career ladder by getting a promotion. Then his rudeness will seem childish to you, and you can simply "crush" him like a bug.